I am just so confused

I am a girl, who comes from a broken family. My father left the family four years back and married another lady and he never return home or even cared about my family. My mother, I don't know why after my father left, she put all the blames on me, can be said I achieved good result in exams, I work in supermarkets during holidays to help my mother in supporting the family. But, the most hurting part is when my mother never trust me, she thinks I am enjoying myself while the family is having problem, I tried to explain my situation and feelings to her but it never worked out. Due to all these reasons, I hate the idea of getting married. I have this guy friend, whom I have known for 5 years. He is the first guy friend that I am close with. He always supports me when I am having problems and I always go to him when I'm upset since there is no one in my family that I can rely on. As I become closer to him, I became too attached to him and started to love him. I feel that my life will be happy when I am with him. He also treated me so nicely and he always share his problems with me too. But the problem is he never proposed me. Since the idea of 'couple up' was not in my mind, I just ignored that, I thought that as long as we are close its more than enough. He asked me before whether i would like to marry him, but I don't know whether he is joking or serious, so I just ignored. Until once he had a big problem in his life, where he lost his job and was cheated by his very close friend. He became very upset and did not contact me for a week. I don't know about his problem as I thought he is busy and that's why he did not contact me. At that time, Valentine day was around the corner and I thought of declaring my feelings for him, that I love him. I sent him a love message but he harshly told that I am nothing for him. His words really broke my heart and I tried to clarify this matter with him, but it became a big conflict between us and he stopped contacting me. Since I don't have anyone else besides him, I apologized to him and told that I will always be his friend only. That is the situation now, I can't understand what he wants from me, sometimes he treats me like his girlfriend and told his friends that I am his girlfriend and another time, he calls me his sister. I am just too confused and also fear that I will lose him. Recently, I found out that he is having a secret gay profile and chatting with gays. I am very upset. Why is he behaving such? Is he really a gay?

Unfortunately he is gay. He needs you to be a sister/friend not a romantic interest. When a man is gay, he is not going to respond to a woman the way a straight man would. I don't want you to feel hurt anymore. Find someone who is interested in you. Who loves and wants to be with you in the ways you need. Still be his friend, good friends are hard to come by so stop trying to push him to being who he is not. Don't tell him you know about his gay profile, just start treating him like a friend. Life is too short to be bitter so just embrace something new and keep your friend. I'm sorry you are going thru this. It will get better.

Thanks, I will do my very best, but he is never like that before the problem he faced. Sometimes, I just wish he will change. He means so much for me.

Don't wish he would change, wish someone else will find something special in you. You deserve to be loved and cherished. You hold your head up and let a new beginning start for you. New friends, see new people , dive into new hobbies, it's time to focus just on you.