Cheating husband gives his version

Ive been married for allmost 3 yrs,and in that time my ex-crazy partner has blackmailed me since she found out I was married. Had to keep her away from my wife knowing what she could do to us,as my wife believes anythig she would say.So me being a coward gave in so I could keep my life,which I truly want.A man can be blackmail if the person he is with does not trust him to begin with,the pressure is immence from my wife and the ex. No win situation.But I am in the wrong for being a soft person.I do want to save my marraige,because I love my wife and could not be without her.

She must have some really serious dirt on you to have enough power to blackmail you in a way that would threaten your marriage... no win situation as you way. Don't know what it is she is blackmailing you for - does she want money off you or something? If this is the case, wouldn't it be better to come clean with your wife and tell her that you are being blackmailed? Your quality of life will already start to be totally distroyed if you are having to suppress your ex, and you could end up with real health problems in the longer term. If this woman knows that she has you around her little finger, Lord knows what she is capable of sapping out of you - this is just where it starts, but she could use the threat against you for the rest of your days. Tell us what you can about the situation in a little more detail if possible... maybe some other people have been in the same situation - I for one have not, but I would view this woman as a terrorist, and personally wouldn't give in to her demands.

I agree with Adam above. Lay all your cards out on the table with your wife...tell her everything. After that call your Ex and arrange to meet for coffee in a public place....bring your wife. Show a united front to let your Ex know that the "game" is over and that she cannot contact you ever again. After that, sort out the mess with your wife...work through it. The only way to end this and save your marriage is to stop playing "the game"...games are for children, and a good marriage is for life. It's really very simple...not easy, maybe painful, but still very simple.