No point anymore?

I recently realized while staring at the ceiling (something that I've been doing a lot lately) that I don't really want to live anymore. I find no point and the only thing that's really keeping me from giving up is the fact that I'm really scared that I might not die when I try to kill myself and I'll be in pain and hurt my family. I have OCD and I'm a huge outcast at school because I don't like the normal things that girls do (I like things like knifes, guns, Star Trek (SPOCK!!), and video games) my friends have completely turned on me and I'm a little scared, if that makes any sense? I'd just like someone to talk to about things that understands this feeling at least a little bit.

people have worse ailments than you but they still want to live,dont run away,there is a cure to ocd,as for your friends leave them make new ones,life goes on

E-mail me at [e-mail address removed] I stare at ceilings & think about ending my life a lot, too.