Going into depression

my husband of 16 years is now on dialysis and wow it's a life changer. he has always had health problems and can't work but he's not helpless either although I do have him spoiled rotten. and now I guess it's coming back to bite me. I work full time and try to get overtime when possible. now with going to dialysis the extra money we had is going in the gas tank. but my husband does not try to be conservative. he'll take his uncle anywhere he wants to go and loan money to his family and I was actually thinking of taking a second job again to have more gas money but if he's going to be giving it away why should I overwork myself. he complains now cause the house is messy and he doesn't try to help, but expects me to be superwoman. which I have done for the last 16 years but i'm going to be 40 this year and while that's not old, I'm not a spring chicken anymore. and plus i'm trying to quit smoking so that's not helping my feelings at all! it's been 46 days although today I had a cig and while it didn't help my problems I enjoyed it. but I can't start smoking again. I just need to get help getting my frustration out . anyone out there have any advice.

he needs to understand how you feel too,just make him understand