Do I get out?

Where do I begin? I guess about 15 - 16 years ago when I started seeing my now husband. We started seeing each other when he was still married but separated (a bad start from the beginning). He has a daughter who at the time was 2 turning 3. I had known him for a while because he is related (cousins) to my brother-in-law. I wasn't in love with him, however, come to find out he was with me. His wife at the time NEVER liked me. He once told me I was a topic of an argument in their house, with her stating "one day you're going to marry _(me)__". They got a divorce and we continued seeing each other. His daughter loved me. She looked forward to the weekends she came down and asked for me as soon as she jumped into the truck. I would tuck her in at night and say prayers with her. However, from day one when she returned to her mom, her mom would ask her HUNDREDS of questions of what went on that weekend, so she grew up telling her everything like a normal routine. Her mom would convince her not to come down on our weekends. Her mom was/is a nightmare to me. If I would have known this, I would have never pursued a relationship with this guy. As soon as she turned 18, she moving in with my mother-in-law. No one tries to be a parent to her. Her grandmother (my mother-in-law) was at one time talking about getting a belly button piercing with her!! My husband and I have 3 kids together (my joy), however, his daughter, now that she has moved in with his mom which is closer to us, comes to our house occasionally. She makes it VERY obvious that she doesn't like any of our 3 kids and she is very obvious she doesn't like me nor makes any effort to try. She's been brain washed for 16 years to hate me. She came down one time and started accusing me of all the things she had been told by her mother. I was in tears while my husband just sat there and said with a smile "that's not true". Not very convincing. My husband and I have frequent arguments regarding her. I ask him to have a talk with her to ask her to try to make efforts to get along, and his reply is "she hasn't done nothing to you!" So in other words, I'm the blame for EVERYTHING! I'm the blame for why he doesn't get to see his daughter. I'm so tried of everything that my own kids don't know who I am. They know me as a short-tempered angry person, when I've always been a fun-loving, happy person that likes to make people laugh. My youngest is 2 and oldest is 9. I just don't know what to do, but I do know I am one unhappy person. The ex-wife is still in contact with my sister-in-laws and mother-in-law. She has always been in love with him and she just won't let it go. I don't know what to do, especially since I don't have mutual feelings for my husband and I've never been given the chance to develop any feelings for him since she's made my life so miserable. Maybe I deserve it since I broke up their marriage but before I came along, he slept on the couch for 6 months and she stayed with her grandparents most of the time. I just want happiness and most of all want my children to see who I really am. I've gotten so down that it's hard for me to keep a clean house and I can't even get myself to go for a jog. I use to be in shape but now I have no energy for anything. Any suggestions?

you are not to be blamed for this mess,just ignore the daugh and her mother,dont bother,just concentrate on yourself,husb,kids,if she can respect u then fine otherwise u ignore her completely.

Thanks KAAMINI!! I would love to ignore her however, she's playing manipulation games with her dad. The hardest part for me however, is my husband doesn't defend me at all. He's not my rock or any support system at all. We're fighting against each other constantly. He defends his family (even if they're wrong) before he'll ever take up for me. I've lost all respect I've ever had in him and respect means a LOT to me. He's the one that pursued me, he should blame his self for his relationship with his daughter, not me. He's never once told his ex-wife to stop. She's gotten away with a lot, but he sure knows how to give me grief. Just wish I had a happy marriage and a husband I could TRUST. He's hidden so many things from me, there's no way I could ever find trust in him.