mental breakdown and i lost the love of my life

About a year ago I had a nervous breakdown about 6 weeks before my wedding. I didn't sleep for about a week and started obsessing over whether or not my fiance would take advantage of a girl when drunk. I kept looking for clues in things he said to see if he would do this or not. After I cancelled the wedding we split up for five months and got back together for four but I think I was so traumatized by my breakdown that I kept obsessing over the same stuff anyway. When I'm anxious really terrible hypothetical situations become really important. I am still in love with this person but he says he can't try again without time and space. I feel so hopeless. I don't think I'll ever love someone the way I love him again. I don't know what to do or how to move on. It's been a year and a half of heartbreak and I feel totally fucked. I don't trust myself to be healthy/sane with him or anyone else. I've had a lot of therapy but it doesn't seem to help. Was diagnosed with ocd as a teenager but now this kind of stuff only comes up in intimate situations. Any advice, comfort support would be helpful. I feel like I've talked to all my friends and family about this for a year and a half and they all think i'm hopeless. Please help me, i'm so heartbroken

It's all in your head you have to believe you want to get better. Just because you talk about it, doesn't mean it will change it. You need to stay positive and have faith in every relationship. And if it doesn't work out. It simply just wasn't meant to be.