Feeling Frustrated and Unsure

I have been married for 13 years, and have 3 children, who have all near enough grown up into teenagers. I have recently hit 40 and think I have had a mid life crisis! My marriage has been rocky for many years always something to fight against everyday, life before my marriage was the same then too!Went away with all my family for my 40th came back and basically felt like I had lost the plot. I felt no longer happy in my marriage which had been going on for sometime but it just hit me and I realized. I started a new job last year and after I came back from holiday, started to get attention from a work colleague. After two months of flirting and canoodling we slept together, he has a girlfriend too. I didn't regret it at all it felt like I was alive again. Problem is I couldn't cope with the stress of keeping it quiet and split with my hubbie, I haven't told anyone, we spent 10 days apart then got back together but split again, we are now living separate and trying to see how it goes. In the meantime my colleague s girlfriend has had suspicions, they had split up but also have now got back together, but our friendship has suffered massively. He cut all ties e.g deleting me from facebook and all messages. Didn't see him for 3 weeks as he was off from work. It was then really tense and awkward so carried on as normal as I could. We worked together for the first time alone the other day and he seemed nicer so thought we could put it all behind us, then came the unadding as a friend the day after. I love my job but feel like I have upset the working atmosphere and it is stressful going in as there are only small number of staff so no avoiding can be done. My husband and I are living separate but are trying despertley to get along, I feel like I am losing my mind , not sure which way to go any help would be appreciated thank you

First off: you are going to be okay. <3 focus, remember you can learn a lot from this and realize how strong you really are. To avoid the job being such a stressful thing, you may want to transfer, if at all possible. As far as your husband is concerned, if you'd like to try to make it work, it's obvious you've had problems for many, many years. Where do you start? How do you overcome it? The first thing I can tell you is that if you don't start talking openly about your problems, you can't being to try to improve the problems in the first place. It might sound crazy, but I think you should tell him about the affair. There is a chance it could still work out. making such a huge mistake is something that can be overcome with genuine discussion and apologies. It will take time to get him back and regain his trust, but if you keep your relationship on a positive path, then you can most definitely make good things happen here. I'm not sure if the marriage could work out at this point, however, especially since it didn't start well. Be sure of what you want - if you really, truly want the split or not. Take care of yourself, try to hold your head high and deal with these difficult times with grace in the center of the storm. <3