Complicated relation

i married before 5years but my husband did not give me respect and for small small mattar he used to beat me same time i met my college friend who liked me before marriage? and he propose me so i accept becouse i was not happy to my husband after i devorce him and i go to abroad? but my boyfriend i feel also he become far to me? he is not too much loving me and i give break up? But we become freind he is always saying me that he loves me a lot and he wants to marry with me only.after 3 years of my devorce i return my country and i asked to my boyfriend when we will get marry he said he had some family responsibility so after some time.so i feel like he don't want to spend his life with me? I was too much hurt from his words i thought why he said like that i feel like he is just using me!but same time my husband he come in my life and he said he loves me a lot and he have shame for his behave! i really from my inside i did not have love for him but i thought if he love me then maybe in the future i have comes feelings for him, i give him again chance but he is not beating me but not taking care me to much and i don't have any feeling for him.untill now i don't have baby and i find out my boyfriend he truly loved me still and he wants me back. i have feeling come for him,i love him too much!now what i do for this situation please give me good advice?

Marriage is hard work and to be in a marriage with someone you are not deeply in love with is a recipe for failure. Talk to your husband about your concerns and needs he may have similar issues. You both need to put your cards on the table and see if you can work things out. If you can great, but if you cannot find a comfortable solution for both of you, face the facts, this marriage is not for you. Do not go running to the other guy either...You need to be on your own and discover who you are, you may find you do not want either one of these guys. And, for the record any man that hits a women is not worth much...he may not be hitting you now but he apparently is finding other ways to hurt you until he decides to hit you again. Establish yourself on your own, be independent, and become the PRIZE not the "door prize".

Stop putting your life in an image, called Male.