Need advice asap

Advice    Back to Advice ListAdvice on a break up.Stop Watching this Topic warich09View More PostsA few months ago I started seeing this amazing guy. We met through my work (he does not work there himself) and we hit it off great. We decided to take this slow since we both have had long relationships in the past that ended badly and hurt us. He decided that he wanted to wait to have sex until we had built a good foundation to possibly a serious relationship. So we took our time. Went on dates and just got to know eachother. It was so much fun. There was no drama or fighting not even one argument. It was so nice. He texted me a long message one night when he was laying in bed saying that he is so glad he had met me and that he appreciates me and that when he has his arms around me at night that everything seems right in the world, that anything that had been bothering him was non existent. That he thinks about me all the time and that every moment spent with me was amazing and the next moment even better... He let me meet his family which was a huge step for him to do beccaus he doesnt just let any girl met his family unless its serious. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with him and his family and he met mine. His family loved me. He bought me gifts (which i told him he didnt have to) and we had an amazing time together. He bought us a gym membership and we had a blast working outtogether. I was really excited about getting healthier andstarting a new way of life with him. Then the next day (new years eve) he broke up with me. He came over to my house and asked to talk. Said that he feels like i wasn't over the hurt from.my past and that he wants to move on and be single. What did i do so wrong? We were so happy. If he wanted to be single why did he do all of that stuff with me? I need advice. Im so terribly heart broken and confused. All I've done is cry and think about it all. Has anyone else went through this?? Is there hope that me and him can fix our relationship? What do i need to do? Please help.

Either he's not over his hurt from previous relationship/s or he's just not the amazing guy you thought he was. HE was right to speak to you face to face. He owed you that much but he made excuses for you and generally said he's not going further because of what/how you feel. You've done nothing wrong but the way he's broken it off has left you feeling like you have. Why would you bother going down the track of trying to repair the damage? His actions have spoken. Would you want to get into a serious relationship with this guy?

I appreciate your advice. I am just confused and hurt. He messaged my room mate asking her how i was doing and wanted to know if i was safe. He told her that he feels like a piece of shit and didn't want to do it and he wouldn't have if he didn't feel like it was the best for us. He told her he hurts and he cares about me and that he still thinks the world of me. He stated that he hopes one day that i will still talk to him and hang out. I am so confused.

Again his actions have spoken..he's not thinking of you, he's thinking of himself. Since when does someone do what he thinks is best for two people without discussing it with the other? Obviously he does, because he made a decision to walk away by citing your "weaknesses" to HIS relationship with you. He said you still had baggage from your past. I think you're the best judge of your baggage! Now he's messaged your room mate and stated, among other things, that he still thinks the world of you...which means he has respect for you!?.. but there was no respect shown to you on new years eve by this man. He states he feels like a piece of shit...he much more than that...but I don't think he realises it. It doesn't matter how good the relationship was at first and what he did for you, you'll continue to be confused for as long as you put him on a 'pedestal'.

Feeling angry does make the grieving period easier, I'm going through the same thing but too find it not easy to be angry. It feels like there's another motive for the split after being so happy, the reason he have seems an excuse, more sounds like he's the one who still has a problem with his past, not you !!!! Or he's simply changed his mind but got swept away with his feelings and the fun times then realised it was not really for him. Sadly you may never get the true answer, the reality is that if he really wanted the two of you together he would have talked and worked something out, the other reality is sometimes you just have to move on, hurts like hell, but you never know what's round the corner. Wish you all the best. Darren x