Being a fool?

I was in a relationship with my partner for 5 1/2 years and we have a 3 year old son. Everything was fine with our relationship until I went to university and he started working away . He was online saying when I was pregnant and he cheated once 2 years ago which I forgave and then just before we broke up I found out he had been having dirty talks with the babysitter (who's older than me so it's not some weird younger girl thing). He said he would stop talking to her but then went away to work and when he came back broke up with me . He's still been sleeping with me (I foolishly thought he might still love me), he told me he loves me, begged for me back and has been showering me with personal and expensive gifts . I found out yesterday he's with the babysitter now and they're 'in love' but he still wants to sleep with me . For some reason even though I know I shouldn't I still sleep with him out relationship has always been passionate so the moment we argue I end up having sec with him even though I hate him. He's also turning it around on me because he thinks I was different the last 6 months and he thinks I was cheating the whole time not just him. He's telling everyone this and making me out to be a bad person. I was actually raped 6 months ago and that's why I didn't want to be 'close' with him or be touchy and I never told him because I was worried that he wouldn't want to be with me or he would want to give up his job away. What should I do?

It's just so amazing how one person can have such a hold over another person to cause untold damage to that person. If you can't trust your partner, then there is no relationship and that's absolute. You forgave him 2 years ago for cheating and he's still doing it! Forget about his expensive gifts, he is just controlling you to achieve his end. You are only encouraging his abhorrent behavior by accepting his gifts and by sleeping with him. How could you be intimate with this man after he has slandered you??? Why would you want to be anywhere near him?? I sincerely hope that you have recovered from your rape ordeal and that you received counseling and support... but please, you shouldn't be using that as an excuse to justify your staying away from him or your worries about his reaction to it. Any decent man would want to support you completely. You should be focusing on you, the real you. You have a 3 year old son to care for and nurture. Your son needs you to be happy and a complete person, not the confused and very hurt individual as you are now. You need to step back and have a clear thinking head to enable you to walk away completely from this man. The only thing you need to have in common with this man is that he's your son's father. Your once fine relationship with this man is now one of total misery. While you continue to allow this man to walk all over you and dominate you, you will continue to have just that...total misery.