Disrepectful

hi I am finding self-questioning peoples actions and words I noticed that I am struggling with their way of thinking .doing and saying , or should it be mine? a few weeks ago my son said he had a terrible childhood :( I am asingle mum and really did my best they are very bright beautiful and healthy 19 and 22 now, it has been very difficult for me him he father wasn't great I have tried to talk about itt but he gets angry , I have never been in long term relationship since I broke up with their dad then out of the blue one evening we were at eating together and my son looked up and said boy your ugly I was hurt and said nothing I realized the next day I was very low as I had brushed off the remark so I eventually explained , he looked blank really think he was shocked at what he'd said some, and tried t o brush it off few months later he confided he was guy I adore my son and go through the emotions mostly worry just want him to have a great life , which I never have .... then I went out with a guy lovely guy great job intelligent remarked that he didn't want the neighbours to see us even though I had dropped him off before at his home I did mention this to him and he apologized just said that they are nosey,, later he very depressed and said he loved his wife very much , she had died 2 yrs ago and it wasn't may fault , he did actually sound in a very bad way I was worried and he cut me off I have quite a few very good long term friends 2 of them I have found their behavior un acceptable as at a friends daughter wedding and was suppose to be sharing the bedroom when she brought back a fella and started to make out with him I am 51 she's in her forties we are both good looking women I am well liked at work.. I left the room slept in the car in the morning got my things and left realized I was so upset I know they had been drinking a lot and she apolgised by text and wanted to talk about it but I was so upset I just wanted to leave, I didn't want to spoil the wedding day she spent so much on it for her daughter it was beautiful , later she was great and apologized again which I admired , then when I ask my children for something simple it takes days .....maybe me expecting too much reacting too strongly

firstly sorry don' know why my question displayed like this , it was late at night , sorry thank you for the reply I understand that I need to be around positive people sometimes I hope I understand people very well and myself it's just hard to be optimistic when people close are being so self centered and not thinking of how it makes me feel until after they have done it... why do they think its ok :/

also there dad has been rubbish and it's caused a lot of problems for me children don't understand this , so I am more considerate to my children had to be their rock really I don't have a great family either it's been really hard yes maybe let go, more , but I'm glad I did n't before as my son told me before going to uni he was gay if I wasn't there no one else would be he does have good friends though, and my other daughter is at uni too and comes to me all the time with her problems I need to be there for them most of the time but their dad just gets a few holidays with them , I know that they see this better now

thank you I did today to him as he was being off again, deep down I know this is what I should do but alone really and no one here to talk to about this thank you :)