My heart won't let go

in 2008 I met my soul mate, it was a spark at first site for the both of us and, after a week of dating we were on love i had never felt more happy in my life, months passed and my ex Lee, started facing trouble with the law after a year of dealing with "the system" we seperated and shortly after reconected i became pregnant during this time my ex was sent to prison and i had the baby wtih out him when he came back i was a diiferent person and him as well. but our love brought us back to the same place after a rough patch and moving we had the perfect family and i was very happy and then the drinking began and so did the violence and after dozens of warnings i left him after almost 5 years, i became numb and cold to all of my emotioms toward him and started dating a new guy and fell head over heals my heart was so happy and i was falling in love. However ,my sons dad wouldnt allow it i had to get a restraining order i was afraid for my life and the ones around me and would hear on a daily basis, the suicidal and homicidal threats, and all i wanted was to be left alone with my new love. But one day something snapped in me and it was as if my heart PHISICALLY BROKE. and all my love for lee came rushing back and feelings for my new man fading. its been 6 months since this happend and i dont understand, as hard as i try i can not block my emotions for my ex, or further my emotions for my current, i think about my ex all the and can no longer be comfortable around my current, whcih at first wasnt a problem.. my heart wont let go of my ex i cried everyday for 3 months straight for him, he is encarcerated now and about to be out he is set up for alcohol class, DV class and willing to do family counseling. when i think about being with him i am scared and i dont know why i would consider it because i have the perfect man now who treats me like i deserve and is every thing my ex wasnt. i fell in love with him and the first time we said i love u i meant it but i cant mean it anymore, i am so confused any advice would help