At my wits end

Hi all!! I am looking for some advice. I am a married man and more often than not my wife decides she wants to fight and I mean verbally get at it. It's very disheartening and I don't know where it all comes from. These fights she likes to have started long before we got married and they just keep continuing. There is no reason for them and I am not sure what to do about it. I just keep thinking" this will be the last one" and it never is. I'm not sure how much longer I can hang in there for if it continues. I love her more than anything but it's making me very unhappy. She has tried seeking help for this but so far has been unsuccessful. I don't think anyone should have to live like this and I'm at my wits end. Has anyone gone thru anything similar to this? Any advice anyone might have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much

Find out what triggers them. It's very frustrating being in a relationship with an argument prone person. If there is a way to calm her before she goes into rant see if it helps. I confess I used to argue but one day I realized how much damn energy I was wasting arguing. I stopped because I hated having to try and make up and get back to normal only to argue and mess it all up after we were getting along. This was almost 20 yrs ago. Till this day in my new relationship, I don't argue. I know I can't slice a person to shreds verbally so I refrain. I hope she decides to change because she loves you enough to change.

Thank you so much for your response. I'm a little unsure as to what triggers these arguments but there huge and twice she even kicked me out with nowhere to go and said I wasn't entitled to any money so that was quite a situation. So much energy is wasted, and for what? I tell her and reassure her about my feelings for her but that doesn't seem to matter much at the time. I've tried to snip it off when I can see it starting and only one time it worked but it only put the inevitable off for a day or two. How long does one have to wait to see if it will stop? I hate to leave the relationship because I know it's where I'm supposed to be but. So much hateful words are said and things are done during that time. It's hard to forget and every time it happens it seems to make leaving would be a little easier

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I personally don't believe in kicking a man out. If I were a man I wouldn't want some woman throwing me out. That's gotta make things even more difficult. Sounds like you need to have that conversation.. "We get better or I go". If you mean anything to her she should want to fix it and keep you around because you all took vows. I'm hoping things turn around for you soon. Hugs!

We have had the talk about things getting better and I know she believes me when I tell her that. But that only makes things good for a little bit of an extended period of time. She is a very negative person and I am a very positive person. Everything I say she comes back with a negative remark or comment. I'm also not sure if she always tells me the truth about things because she can tell me one thing but there's about three different versions of it and I don't dare question it or that sparks the argument right there. Obviously there are issues within her that need to be dealt with. Wish I knew how to go about it. Ps..Thank you for the hugs I really appreciate that :)

I never thought of her being bi polar Thank you for bringing that up. And as for pulling my weight around home. I absolutely do. I'm no stranger to the chores around the house or the cooking, and as for a job yes. My job pays very well. I even arranged a 4on 4 off schedule so I could be home more and spend more time together but that didnt solve the problem

As far as I know she hadn't had outbursts with anyone else. She has an 11 yr old daughter that lives with us and she most times talks to her in a unacceptable tone. And more times that not the tone of her voice in monotone. It's not like that all the time tho. I'm not sure if that could mean something or not? She had sought help not long ago actually. But only went for a session maybe two and quit them. Getting her to take mess if she was bipolar would be almost impossible I'm sure but her seeking help in the first place was great because she does realize there is a problem somewhere. Thank you all for your words, I truly appreciate them :)

Sometimes, It's just the way you say something or not say something that can piss her off. She should seek counseling. It does sound like bi-polar to me. But maybe it stems from something more. Maybe something that happened in her past that makes her so crazy. I am very sorry you have to go thru this. I feel more sorry for the 11 year old. No child should have to go thru verbal abuse. That causes a lot of problems within the child. And when you're a child, and you're being treated like this by your own parent, who do you turn too? I think your first step should be to put your foot down. Stand up for you child. Do NOT allow your wife to talk to her in a mean demeanor. No hot temper towards her at all. No child should be subjected to that. Not ever. That just broke my heart.

It's a very tricky situation, words have to be chosen and said very carefully. Even then it's risky to say something. You never know when the blow up is going to happen. One thing that I have notice a long time ago actually is that I could tell when it was going to happen. Mainly it was the look in her eyes then facial and verbal expression. How does one approach a spouse and ask them to see a doctor and see if bi-polar is the issue?