It has been a long time

I apologize in advance for how it reads. It was hard to stay on track with my mind all over. My story is one that some may find common, but it has many twists and turns that make it just difficult enough to be left an open case. In February of 2013 my now ex boyfriend and I went on "a break". This was completely his decision and I have since been heart broken. I know that now you're thinking GET OVER HIM ALREADY!!!! I have tried, believe me. After our break we would still talk almost every day and we would still have sex and act affectionate. He knew how I felt about him because the "I LOVE YOU" part was nothing I felt needed to be kept a secret. Now what you should know is that in the month leading to our "break" we were arguing a lot. This was not because we did not get along it is because I had discovered that he had been cheating on me with multiple girls and had gotten into hardcore drugs. I know you think he is not the guy for me, but it has been almost a year now and although I have gone on dates and quite honestly slept with other men. I cannot shake the feelings I have for him. Let me tell you that I have had relationships where I have been heartbroken before,but none like this. My ex boyfriend before this one has even given me advice because for a while it wasn't at all hard to tell what a mess I was! Now back to the guy. He ended up going to jail for about eight months to get off probation for the drugs and he is now a free man. Honestly, this is going to sound insane, but I still have his Facebook password so I went on there to see if he was really as great as everyone was saying he is now and he has been drunk EVERY night since he had been released. EVERY night that is no exaggeration and it makes me sick. I am no party girl and I hate how drugs and alcohol take over the lives of people. I am a firm believer that people decide for themselves and is not like the beer chose to get him drunk. He chose that. While he was gone I still would see his family and hang out with his sister from time to time. This was in no way some plot to win him back. I also wrote his mother a letter explaining myself and telling her my feelings on the situation. I never heard back from her so in my own fury I called her and decided it was time to talk about it. She and I talked for a long time and she explained that she was not trying to hurt me by not replying she was trying to help me. I need closure not avoidance. So in this plea for sanity I ask you to please in anyway help me to find a way to get him to talk to me at least long enough to have closure.