She had an affair, am I being unreasonable?

We had been together for very nearly 10 years and she was on the phone finding prices and availability of a wedding venue for later this year. The same day, she discovered some iffy emails in my email account between myself and another woman. These had been sent around 3 years earlier. I am 33 the other woman is near 60!! I did not send these emails and I have no idea how or what happened regarding them. I told my partner this, and of course she did not believe me. Because of these emails she went to work soon after crying. There was a man there to comfort her, a shoulder to cry on. It all went wrong from there. I never gave my partner enough attention (cuddles, sitting on the sofa, kisses, etc) I never realised just how important this was to her. I did do absolutely everything else I could for her though. If she wanted something, I did my very best to make it happen. I dedicated my life to trying to make her happy, I just dropped the ball on the little things like attention. The other man has been saying the right words to her. Telling all that she wanted to hear and giving her all of the attention that I would've if I'd know how important it was. She has become addicted to it. The affair has been going on for 7 weeks. Including emails using their work email accounts, she set up a secret email account and they've been texting and phoning each other. A lot of this was done under my nose while sitting in the same room. The emails/texts include telling each other how much they love each other, bad mouthing me and lots of dirty talk. She has admitted masturbating while communicating with him on several occasions. Even admitting to starting while I was out of the living room before going to bed straight after I enter the room. She had been going into work early and finishing late. She was meeting him during this spare time and also every lunch tim to kiss and cuddle and a little more in MY car! After I found out that there was another man, she said she needed space to figure out what to do. For 3 days she ignored me and shrugged me off. During these 3 days she was in contact with the other man constantly. She phoned all night this first night, met up with him in the car the second night and went to his flat on the 3rd. They did not have full sex but she performed oral on him. She came back to me for a few of days, I said I could get over it if she gave me the chance but on the 3rd day I lost it. I was so emmotional that I started shouting violently, calling her every name under the sun and worse. I never touched her and would never touch her. She said I terrified her and again, ran back to her mothers saying she needed space. She again ignored every message from me but spent hours on the phone to him. After another 3 days we met up and talked. I said I could still work this out. If we deleted the history, New phone numbers, erase the emails and have just one shared email and that she would have to look for a new job to get away from him. She seemed interested in trying but not enough to leave her job. She kept saying that I was being unreasonable asking her to leave a job where the man she had this affair with worked. They could still email while at work and they have kissed in the staffroom on more than one occasion. How can I live with her while shes in the same building as the other man? She has now ended the 10 year relationship with me it saying that she will not leave her job. Because of this we will have to sell the dream house we bought and all of the beautiful posessions we have collected. It's weird to think that only 2 months ago she was arranging our wedding.