I feel so confused

Hi. I have had relationship problems all my life. I was with someone for 12yrs married for 3 before we divorced. We had 3 kids we used to argue all the time, I always had to find faults with everything in our relationship and nothing he did was ever food enough but deep down I know it was. I got together with my new boyfriend who I have been with for 3 yrs and we just had a baby and the same thing is happening. I'm always shouting at him and he makes me angry and I don't no y??. I had a really bad childhood my mum used to beat me all the time and I was sexually abused by a family member and was told by many people I was useless, unwanted and I don't deserve to be loved. Some days are fine and I have no problems other days I'm a complete wreck and I don't no wat to do