So... my father wants to talk with me again?

So my father left me and my mom, when I was 3 years old. I remember, sometimes he took me to the park, bought some toys, but it was like once a month or something. Then he just disappeared, well at least that is how it felt for me, being so young. I do not remember much, but my mom and my grandmother told me when I got older, that now he has a new family and the new wife of his, has a baby that is a step-brother to me now. Of course I wanted to meet my step-brother, so my father took me to his birthday party. My father got really drunk, and at that young age (I was 7 years old), I actually realized, that my dad is an alcoholic, that is why my mom and dad got divorced. Anyways, that was the last time I ever saw him. I never actually needed a father in my life growing up, because I had grandpa, that were doing the same job. No.. Im lying.. Every girl in her life needs father.. that plays with her, protects from bad decisions and of course from boys :) Growing up, I just forgot about him, because he renounced me as his daughter..officially. So he didn't existed for me anymore too. I just knew that he is an alcoholic, that he won't get far in his life being like this and that he doesn't need me. His first and only daughter... Today, my grandmother calls me, saying that my freaking father is looking for me!!.. (I live in the another country now, from the country I grew up). After that long, he wants to see me??!! I am 20 years old now, starting to build my own life and NOW he missed me?? He never support me with money growing up, never helped me with anything. For most important - he never been there when I needed father the most... I really do not know what to do... My grandma asked me should she give him my number or not. I don't know.. I am going to come back to my home town in June and I guess he wants to meet me. Should I talk with him? Should I even give him my number? Or go to meet him face to face when I am going to come back? Should I FORGIVE him??..

Hi there! wow I've never experienced something like this. I know from experience that parents are not perfect and because they are human they can really let you down. It must have been a shock to realise that your dad was an alcoholic. It really is your decision if you want to meet up with him or forgive him. I think its good if you truly forgive him In your heart and let go of any bitterness for your sake. listen to what he has to say if your meeting up. I also like the idea of being on good terms and sorting things out with people even if they have mistreated me. I think most bad parents still love their own children. Sometimes its the parents that need the supporting from children and sometimes the children are actually wiser than the parents. If you choose to, talk to him on the phone first and if you meet up make sure you are with another adult or trusted person. Everybody needs a little grace in this life but make sure it doesn't compromise your safety. Him abandoning doesn't define who you are its what you do in life situations like this that tests your true character! remember life is too short for holding any grudges, good luck