Help me, please

Hello, I am writing this whilst I try and make an extremely important decision about my marriage. Firstly understand that I love my wife so very much and it is be quad of that, that I am here. Some quick back story. I don't have many friends which is part of the reason I am here as I don't have anyone to turn too. My wife and I have been married a few years and we have had a few ups and downs as would be expected and we've always worked through them and up until this weekend things have been good. I've always had a problem with money, not gambling or anything like that. I'm just very very bad with it and it tends to just disappear and I have no idea where it goes. I always put money where it needs to go first like bills account and into my car as fuel so I can get to and from work. Anyways, my overspending crept further and further into my overdraft until it reached the end and has crept over a few times, all the while my wife has been unaware as I don't know how to talk about money or even my feelings (something my ex basically beat out of me). We went to get a mortgage yesterday morning and it was declined due to the fact that I am basically living in my overdraft. My wife has found out how far I am overdrawn and doesn't trust me anymore(rightfully so) but also in the process I have managed to mess everything else up and affect a whole lot of other people financially. My wife said she wants to seriously consider divorce, I don't want to but I've messed up so badly and messed up her and others lives on such a monumental scale that I don't think we would ever be able to recover from it, I also don't want to keep making things worse for her. I seriously considered just packing my car full of stuff and running away but I know that's a very cowardly thing to do but then so is everything else I've done up until now, but I still don't want to just end it. I've already said that I struggle massively talking about feelings and well everything. I'm finding it difficult to write this as this must be my 6th draft. My question is this: What do I do? What would you do?

Stay with your wife and work the extra job. Give her control of finances. Let her put you on an allowance. Tell her how you feel. Set a day to talk about finances and do it out of the house. The rest of the time you do not pollute your house with it.