From Prince Charming to douchebag

I was dating this guy for a year and a half, it was the most wonderful relationship I´ve ever been in. I broke up an engagement to be with him. He was the most supportive boyfriend, the most amazing friend, he said sweet things to me all the time, helped me when I needed a hand, made me feel beautiful and we had so much fun together. He talked about plans for the future that made me believe he was the one for me and we would get married and have a family. All this lasted until last week, when out of nowhere, he stopped talking to me, according to him it was because he was too busy at work, we work at the same place, but not in the same department. He passed right by my spot and did not even say hello, he didnt answer my calls or messages, I wanted to know what was going on. I asked him by text why was he acting that way, and all he said was "I cant deal with this right now" So after three days of silence, I decided to go up to his house, and return some of his things I had and get back some of mine, I expected him to apologize and stop the breakup befre I said it. But he didn´t, he was completely fine with it, said that he cant deal with relationships when he is stressed, and he can´t handle the bad times in relationships. So we broke up, he was so cold and unconcerned towards me.It hit me like a bag of bricks that all this time he hasn´t cared about me, he has been pretending to love me, he has been making me believe he is the one and it hurts really bad. He said he loves me but is not IN LOVE with me anymore, when just three weeks ago, he was talking about living together in Florida. I did nothing wrong, was as patient and understanding as I could be and it just breaks my heart he ended up treating me like this. With his previous girlfriend, they broke up and got together several times, is this how he wants to be with me? How can such a sudden change happen like that? It would take a lot for me to take him back if he does ever come back. I try t be strong and not think about it, but how can I not think about it when just a week ago, everything was fine and now he is not in love with me anymore.

You say he was pretending, but for a year and a half I don't think that would be the case. It'd make no sense for him to pretend. I'm sure he didn't plan this anymore than you did. If he was unhappy in the relationship before he would have ended it sooner. So he did love you, just he let his stress get in the way. It's very odd how a sudden change like that can happen. How he can suddenly just no love you anymore, but love can sometimes work like that, unfortunately. Has he always had this job? If so it's quite perplexing it only takes the toll on him now. There must have been some sort of change to his workload or something. You must have done something to get on his nerves, even if it didn't seem like it or you didn't mean it. It's the only way this has happened, and it was probably something you could not have helped. Some sort of extra stress must have been put on him with this relationship. Such as a "bad time" As he says. It's odd, you describe your relationship as near perfect with no arguments or what have you. However, he said he can't deal with the bad times? But from your description there isn't any or even much of those? But there must be for him to mention that. Therefore there is some "bad time" Here that you've either forgot to mention or is a mystery to you. I can say it probably wasn't an instant thing, it was probably gradual, it built up over some short amount of time in resonance with some change in his life, most likely at work. He has made quite an extreme cause of action for such a seemingly minor temporary negative thing in his life. Which may ultimately come back to bite him some day. He possibly may have made this decision not to hurt you further, as he said he can't deal with this right now, which sounds quite angry. Maybe it was a form of protection from him not eventually getting really mad and shouting at you or something. He said he still loves you, but he isn't in love. Which is very strange. Did you ask him the difference between what those two things mean to him? As they can be quite different from person to person. But from my interpretation I'd say you could still be friends with him, if you wanted you. And maybe you still are, you don't seem to have mentioned anything about that. Of course being friends with him only if you bare those feelings you have towards him. Considering his history with his other girlfriend he may come back to you, of course this depends on if the previous break-ups with her were due to stress, as this one is. In conclusion he may have made a mistake, if he comes back maybe get back with him, if you question him and he says he won't do it again. As I believe everyone needs a second chance if you want it to still work out anyway. Then if it happens again, consider giving up entirely. I hope that help and made you think about some things. I wish you good luck with this and have a wonderful day :)

Thanks for taking the time to reply DOMINICWILD and SUSIEDQ, The only bad times i can recall is one time he was dealing with a phone company i advised him to cancel his account before they charged him another month, he got upset and typed (we were chatting) with bad words, I felt offended because I was only giving him my opinion because he had asked for it. I do not understand, there were no signs that this was coming. He has hurt me so bad, I cannot consider the idea of being friends with him after he told me he doesnt love me or hes not in love with me or whatever that means. If he comes back to me I dont think i could take him back, since he found whatever reason to stop loving me once, he can do it again.