Hymen problem

Hello, Im a 19 year old female who has had sex before. With my first attempt the pain from trying to break my hymen was so bad we had to stop half way through therefore didnt manage to break it. We then a few weeks later tried this again and again, we had to stop because i really couldnt handle the pain. After this, by using personal toys etc, i tried to pleasure myself alone. When inserting it..the pain returned and i found it so painful to actually..'get in' i kept trying and trying and eventually i felt a slight 'pop'? shall i say. This then allowed it to slide in.. When i tried this again..and again on many different occasions the same pain of getting it in was there. An unbelievable amount of pain! But again it would 'pop' through after a while of pain. When looking in the mirror at myself to examine it..my hymen doesnt appear to be..a clear opening. It almost looks like..a piece of skin with 3 holes in it. By looking at this its clear that no toy or penis would be able to go in smoothly etc and looks as if i havent broken my hymen atal? Could this mean that iv only stretched one of the 'holes' or something to allow toys to get up there..? (the toys are of a size of a average to slightly larger equivilant of a mans penis) Even now the pain is unbearable to get a toy in. I havent had or attempted actual sex ever since those first two times. This is such a nightmare and very embaressing for the next time i have a partner i intend to become physical with im worried of the pain and shame :/ Has anybody exsperienced this before or have any idea on what it could be or any advice? any replies would be very much apreciated.

I was also experience this before 1 year back when i was in college. This is my first time when we make physical relation. But when he tried to put his penis inside me then it is very hard because i was virgin and the pain is unbearable. So i said him that please stop and i will masturbate for you. He was nice so he agreed but i feel very shame that day. I tell this incident to my close friend. He Suggest me that use gelly toys. These are very soft and easy to put inside. Then he suggest me http://www.vevetrois.com this site.