What is wrong with the relationship

Hello, My name is Amy. “I have being supposedly dating my first ever ex- boyfriend for about four and half years now”. What I meant about this statement is that, as far as I am concern it is three years we having being sincerely dating. On September 2014, I traveled to United Kingdom for a year to go and study a master degree program. Why my ex is in my homeland country, studying the same master program. I did that because in my country masters of 2 years could last for 4 years. My dad sponsored me to school in UK, in order for me to finish within a year and do my PhD program immediately. Though he started his master degree program for 2 and half years before I started mine. In UK, I make sure that I kept calling him every day, because he has financial problem but I don't. So I kept calling him for a year. Skype was also used to communicate as well. While I was in UK a lot of my new friends over there kept telling me that my Ex could be cheating on me. Because I trusted my Ex, I told them that, it can't be possible. Because I have known him for four years before coming to UK. So I thought of what they told me, I felt that I should test him if it is true, because we have never being distance apart before. So I told Him that in case he fined someone else he should let me know, and I do not want to be selfish. But he kept saying that I shouldn't make that statement that is not good. But I couldn't just listen, I just wanted to be sure at all cost that he is not cheating on me, in order to prove to my friends that is not true. So, I said that statement for 3 times to be sure and then I kept asking if in case he is having an affair. But he kept denying it. My communication with him seems OK why I was in UK. When we have some disagreement he was always calm, from the beginning. while i was the trouble maker sometimes. But we always reconcile in the end, whenever we have disagreement. But when I came back to Nigeria he suddenly kind of avoiding me by making a lot of excuses, we haven't even seen each other, since I came back for almost 6 months now. I couldn't see him because I recently lost my Mum and there was some responsibility to do, to solve some problems like legal problem. I got upset in the process and kept asking why his sudden change of attitude. But he seems to prefer to text me than even calling me. I told my dad about it, but my dad said I should just let him be. I was worried and I happen not to be experienced when it comes to relationship, he is the first guy I have ever dated. Then one day, we had an argument and he broke up with me, by telling me that I will not be a homely type and submissive woman, i make him feel inferior, i am authoritative and that is all about my career. And that he wants a simple home and simple life. He knows from the start when he ask me out, I told him my career means a lot to me and he accepted it.Despite my conditions i asked of him yet he accepted. Also That I am controlling him (yes it was the truth, I did that to make him a responsibly person) and now he suddenly sees that as a problem. I felt shocked I hung up the phone. Three days later on Facebook I found out he is engaged to another person. So I called him and asked if he is engaged and he said yes. That he is busy at the moment that will we talk the next day, about that. Then we spoke and he told me that it is because I said if he fines someone else he loves he should go for her. (But that was not completely what I said). So I didn't beg him to come back to me. All I just simply said is that I forgave and I still loved him. And he said why am I saying all this right now, that it is already too late for that. But while I was in outside the country, I always told him I can’t wait to see that I have surprise for him to let him how much I loved him. Because I knew I haven’t given him much attention. He also said that someone told him I am not his type that he should let me go. I did a lot for this guy I paid his school fees, whenever he has no money, I give him money. Whenever he has problems I have always being there for him. I even slightly changed some of my attitude because of him and he knew all that. I really did a lot for this guy. Then he said am sorry, but we can be friends. That he really owns me, I truly meant a lot to him. And I simply said we can't be friends and also he should never say a word like he owns me, then finally I said that all the best wishes and happiness that I have forgiven him. But couldn't help myself and I cried why I was saying that in the process. Then I told him that he shouldn't call me and i want to forget him for good. Then he said that my friendship matter towards him. I also ask him how long he started the relationship with the other girl, he said that it is almost a year now. I said if she is the one for you I wish him all the best and happiness.That was it. Besides i happened to know the lady, she sells top-up recharge card to people who want to top up credit on their phone. For 5 days we didn't talk to each other. But he called me back once, but I didn't pick his call. So I send him a text that he should pack my valuable luggage that I kept in the house while I was staying with him for some time before I travel out. That I do not want to come to his place. But he should do that between now and on Sunday next week by giving it to someone. Then I will collect my stuff from the person and I leave the place. I have already blocked, unfriend on him on Facebook and erase other contacts of his. I text him that I have a seminar at the university around where he is and I want to take my luggage along when I am travelling back to my destination (Which was the truth and it was a coincident). So he didn't reply. 10 hours later I called him and he didn't pick my call. So he called me back and couldn't pick it because I wasn't with my phone. So I called him, I was sounding friendly and telling him about my luggage and he didn't say a word except OK and I hung up. I remember a lot my friends back in my homeland kept telling me that this boyfriend of yours have not being in school since 2013 till now. That the lecturers have being looking for him, but i didn't believed them. While I was in UK. I kept asking him of his project, he kept lying to me that he has being working on that. Well I am glad he is happy with the person he loves and comfortable with. The relationship is not meant to be. Besides a lot people kept telling me while we are dating that he does not belong to my class. I know what I want but he does not know what he wants. Everyone knows I am the reason why he is responsible. Because he was also working while schooling, but the money he receives wasn't enough. So my question is 1. Please let me know what is truly wrong in the relationship? 2. This guy have introduce me to his family that he was to marry me? 3. Why does he feels inferior sometimes? 4. Why didn't he tell me he was dating another person?5. why did he sounded that way? 6. why he is it that each time he talks to me seems he is scared after he found out i know that he was engaged? 7. I want understand his thinking both in the past and the present. The reason why i asked is because he hasn't changed his email password. Because he choose to let me know his password. 8. Then why did he asked for sex 4 months ago and even recently? 9. Why did he asked money from me within the last 4 months now? 10. Also if in case he didn't arrange my luggage what should I do next? Because I know this guy for 6 and half years now. He is capable of doing that because he would want me to come in person and I don’t want that. 11. Why did he accepted me when he knows the kind of person i am and the so called impossible conditions i said to him. 12. Why didn't he tell me that he is now engaged. Even he has asked me before that I should come and pack my luggage. My intention is to pack my luggage and move on with my life I don't what to keep mourning or feeling depressed while he is happy with someone else. This incident that happened to me truly hurt me and I felt betrayed. And for him to do such a thing, I don’t want him back. And that is exactly what I told him. I did a lot for this guy even to please him. Even though I get angry easily I wasn't that aggressive, but I could be. We have being friends for 3 years before he even asked me out. He knew me so well and my bad flaws, yet he asked me out. So About me telling him to find someone else, I know it could be my fault. I have already accepted and I am moving on with my PhD. Program this year on September by the grace of God.

I'm not sure why you want answers to these questions. They will not change the out come. He is engaged and you will move on. It sounds like he had great ideas about going to school and about your future together. during such a long separation and your repeated telling him it was "ok" to move on if he wanted, he did. He wanted to see if his new love was worth pursuing so he kept you on the hook while he tried out his new woman. He doesn't sound like the best of characters due to his continued requests for money and sex.

please remember this isn't the only man on the planet for you and he got engaged to someone else while dating you...still being friends with him is like giving him salt to rub on your wounds...your smart, you should get out and STAY OUT. this man is clearly not husband material, chances are you will see way better in your lifetime. just be patient. and secondly, in the beginning you kept telling him you don't want to be selfish, etc etc, that trips off some men even if you may sound like your selfless. that was giving him a excuse to find someone better. in any case, be glad the relationship ended. its best for both of you.