Girlfriend falls asleep during sex

I'm a lesbian (had to start off by saying this before someone told me to 'man up'!) and am finding the sexual relationship with my girlfriend a bit upsetting at the moment. We've been together a year and I really do love her - we are perfect for each other in so many ways and my life has been made much happier since she's been in it. However, a recurring problem in our relationship has been that she falls asleep very quickly either before we are about to have sex or after initiating sex. I've spoken to her about it a couple of times over the year and this has been the only thing we've argued about. We went on holiday last week and I ended up in tears on our last night. She said she wanted to have sex with me and we started kissing and more etc. Then when I was on top of her (sorry if this is TMI!) she said that she might fall asleep as she was really tired. I found this very upsetting for her to actually declare - whilst in the middle of sex - that she might fall asleep. I obviously retreated and turned over to go to sleep myself (to try and hide the fact that I was crying)but she realised I was upset...which then resulted in her crying and apologising for being so insensitive. I can't stand to see her cry so we cuddled and eventually fell asleep. Not a fantastic way to end our holiday. The next day I told her that "we'd get through it" but it's really starting to weigh me down now. It seems to keep resurfacing as a problem every 3-4 months because I feel like she doesn't want me, even though she says she does. I don't doubt that she loves me, she's a brilliant girlfriend in all other ways. But what I worry about is the feelings I have which can get quite drastic - "if you don't want me, I'll find someone else who will." I've never cheated on anyone before and don't intend to, but this constant feeling of sexual rejection makes me feel so unwanted. I think my sex drive is higher than hers. She claims to watch pornography (which I don't) and says she has a high sex drive...yet she's the one always falling asleep and I always feel rejected and deprived. She does work in a very demanding job so I think I let myself believe that she's entitled to be very tired and because my job is less demanding I shouldn't expect her to stay awake. But, for me, when you want sex and are turned on (even when you're tired) you just want sex. Those feelings of passion just take over and are stronger than the desire to sleep. At least that's how I feel. I would really appreciate any advice or insight on this. I know the obvious thing I need to do is talk to her...again...but it seems to have little effect. Last time I spoke to her about it she ended up falling asleep AGAIN the next time we started to have sex...which resulted in me going and sleeping in a different room and crying. She knows it's a problem but she can't seem to change. Help!

Making love can be very relaxing and relaxing in the dark at night, lying down can make you sleepy. I suggest maybe different positions, have her sit up or balance herself on the edge of something (cant fall asleep that way). Also maybe be a little more rough, get her pulse up. Try keeping the lights on and having sex before it gets too late and she is tired. Tell her your suggestions, she needs to be a willing participant in finding a solution. Its not fair for you to feel rejection like this and eventually it is going to push you away from her.

Different positions or new scenery...I must disagree. When you know you're about to make love to your life partner technically you should act as if it were the very 1st time, exciting, screw my being tired. If you love someone you enjoy every moment spent with her and being intimate with her is unconditional, always. Also, why does it always come from one side, im sure the last thing on your mind is being tired just thinking of being intimate with her, right? Of course! So it's obvious you're going to think things simply because it's something you could never do even if you tried. I bet you never hear or see any article issues about "my girlfriend fell asleep during sex during our 1st intimacy date". I feel this way too hence I Googled "what does it mean when your girlfriend falls asleep during love making lesbian" and saw this, I am not one to reply and never have I but it bothers the s#%t out of me. Reading your page I could relate to it and I feel the exact same only my girlfriend and I (also a lesbian couple) have been dating for 3 months, 3 months actually being today :) and we have had "issues" with her being able to climax, it raised only doubt from my side. we worked together and it's been better since but could definitely improve. I've been with girls before, I've been gay since I can remember and have never had this before hence it bothers me even more. Anyways about 3 days ago we were randomly speaking about her falling asleep real quick, and joking about it. Somehow it got to me telling her that I have no problem whatsoever if she falls asleep and that the only issue would be if she ever fell asleep on me during us making love. We both agreed, it would be a slap in the face, we even had a laugh about it...its 3 days later and we got intimate tonight for the 1st time this week (yea that too) all was great, afterwards she had stared teasing me, non stop, I made it very clear that she had gotten me back to square one, and that she turns me on very much. Soooo she started touching me for the 2nd time around, and I sensed something different, I asked her if she's perhaps tired and she replied saying "noooo how could I be" so it carried on...not even a minute after asking, I noticed within seconds that she had stopped....she had fallen asleep. I got up reasonably fast in utter shock which woke her up instantly. I told her that I was in fact aware of her being tired and of course I moved. She sort of acted as if it never happened and said she would love to continue...obviously in my state of mind I declined and laid back down automatically starting to think what, how, why. I mean here she teases me leading to me getting turned on from scratch and she falls asleep??!! Anyway she asked if I was okay I said yes, and she shortly fell asleep. She doesn't know I noticed and knows we spoke about exactly this 3 days ago. I love her so much hence it bothers me. I don't feel that way at all. She can touch me every second of every day in the same place every damn time and ill still be as excited as I was the night we 1st got intimate...its clear she doesn't. It's only human to think things and wonder what it could be. Sometimes I feel she doesn't love me as much as she's capable of loving...sounds terrible but so true. I am still clueless however the point simply is that love is strong and pure, if you truly love her with all you can love then it shows, this doesn't help our relationship at all especially only being together for 3 short months. I intend on speaking to her about it and willing to put things behind me...Unfortunately the "thoughts" remain. I do however hope you come right...I like the way you love her. Keep well