Want to remove hatred feeling

My mother is a divorcee. My mom & i live with my maternal grandparents. They were the ones who brought me up. They spent their money for my education my comfort my happiness. I love them so much. My mom doesn't work for the past 6 years. Things went on well when i was in hostel. When i returned home that's when i came to know about my mom. My mom hates her mom for some reason and doesn't do any household work. She acts immaturely. My hate for her started. Because she was not a mom i expected her to be. She herself accepted that seeing my grandma( her mom) suffer gives her happiness. Since then my fight with her started. We used to scold each other. 2 years ago she was addicted to facebook & tv. She used to be friends with many unknown members in facebook. I used to warn her it's not safe. She wouldn't listen. I asked her what was important to her " the facebook or me ?" After a while she chose facebook. I felt really hurt. I used to cry for days thinking of her. Then i decided that i have no mother & father only my grandparents. I said that straight to her many times. But she wouldn't speak a word against it. That's when i stopped calling her mom. From then i barely spoke with her. Now recently she became addicted to a drama. She takes video of it in her mobile & would keep on pestering me to copy it to a CD (which she didn't figure out how to do it herself) and watch those videos & listens to music from her laptop the whole day. She doesn't eat properly. She lost weight drastically and was under treatment for few days. Now she says she can't sleep & she doesn't listen to my grandparents advice & keeps complaining about her health. Her addiction bothers me much. She doesn't care about my studies & gives her first priority to that tv series. I can't tolerate her and i scold her. I just hate her so much. I have even stopped talking to her. But my grandparents want me to give her respect & get along with her. It's something i can't even imagine. My grandpa is a cardiac patient. Every time we fight my grandpa gets hurt emotionally which in turn affects his physical health. My hatred feeling towards mom isn't good for his heart. I can't afford to lose the only family (my grandparents) i have. I don't know how to get along with her. She irritates me every time which my grandpa very well know. My grandma will keep on advicing me to be soft to her; not to scold her; to talk to her. She would keep on reciting this every day. Now i barely speak with my grandma. I can't talk about how i feel to my grandma (she doesn't accept the fact) nor my grandpa( due to his health). Right from my childhood i had been a reserved type. Not very sociable. I don't have much friends. My maternal side relatives are not so close to us. I have nobody to share my feelings. My grandma insist that i don't talk family matters with my friends. And i have never shared this with my friends too. I am also afraid what they will think of mom or me? Will they think i am cruel to my mom or will they think bad about her? I regret every day for the way i grew up (like inside a shell). I don't know how to move with people. I always have this scared feeling inside. The biggest problem is i don't know how remove this hatred feeling & get along with mom for my grandparent's sake. I want my grandparents to be happy & peaceful. What should i do ?....

Wow you might aswell say your mother is your sister reading this situation; At the end of the day she is your mother & for the sake of your grandparents I'd listen to them... The more you & your mother argue & fight the sooner you'll be losing your grandparents through heart ache, for the sake of them swallow your pride & be the bigger person in this situation. Who cares what your mother does, shes old enough to make her own decisions & to avoid the conflicts just let her be & you continue to focus on you & your grandparents. As much as you want your mother to see your point of view, things won't be resolved by yelling & screaming, I know you don't like how she talks to your grandmother but you have to understand that its between her & your grandmother. One day your mother will realize the mistakes shes made towards your grandparents, if it's too late for her to apologize about what shes said & done to them, then thats something shell have to live with for the rest of her life here on earth; That feeling is like a suffering pain feeling. so for the sake of your grandparents, i'd cherish & focus more on them while you have the time rather than wasting your energy on your mother & what shes doing with her life, maybe when things are calm between the 2 of yous then have a adult conversation about this situation & hopefully something positive will come out of it..