Love triangle - struggle

So Im going to briefly start way back to give some background to my situation. I dated this guy in highschool and his dad was Navy, so he ended up having to move away across country from me. We continued to date, but being so young it ended - but we kept in touch and have been the best of friends since, eachothers rock. Fast forward about 5 years - he is in love with me, but I was dating someone else, whom I loved whole heartedly - but this new boyfriend was a bit emotionally abusive. I was always the one putting forth effort. <br> And here I had this guy from my past, my best friend, pouring his heart to me, wanting a chance with me and I felt foolish not to give him that chance. But it forced me to break up with someone I loved and it was awful timing because he was finially putting forth the effort I was so longing for for so long. But I knew if I didn;t go through with the break up and keep my word to my best friend and give him a chance - he would be out of my life forever. MY BEST FRIEND WOULD BE GONE, after seven years of friendship. So I broke up with the boyfriend and am now dating my best friend. And though I should be happy (he is an amazing boyfriend, he has a great career, and puts be before everything and loves me more than anything) But, I keep thinking of my ex, because I chose to love him and the love I mean is the bf/gf lets be together forever love, and I am so conflicted because the love I have with my best friend Im dating is the love you have of a friend you would die for. On top of all this, my family and friends adore my current bf - saying how lucky I am and all this crap. and no one liked my bf before. Someone please help me. I so badly want to be with my ex. But I feel the right thing to do is to be with who Im with now, and learn to love him the way I loved my ex. I just dont know if I am letting everyone else control my decisions instead of going with what I want. But I also fear Ill lose those closest to me by doing what I want, instead of what is best. Help!

You can't help who you love, we all deserve to be happy. If your current boyfriend rally loves you add much add you say then he too will only want what is best for you. And you can't worry about what other people will think, you need to follow your heart and do what's going to make you happy

Sorry for the typos, it should be really, and as not add