Internet porn and chat rooms

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 15 months and things are going well and the sex is great. From day one I've known that he watches porn when given the chance, usually while his kids are napping. Just recently I've discovered that he is flirting with girls on game sites through private messages and now I have also discovered that he has a Mingles.com account. I know what goes on in those chat rooms and I know that you can go into private rooms and sext and send pics, etc. My question is: At what point does the internet porn and chat room attraction go too far? I really feel like he is looking to hook up with someone and take that "fantasy" to the next level. He seems to be so content with our relationship, I just don't get it and it hurts me. It's also making me have doubts about my trust in him. I mean, what if the tables were turned and I was doing these things? I'd love to hear from a guys point of view on this.

SUSIEDQQQ, even though it hurts me/bothers me I don't consider it "cheating". He really is very attentive to me and doesn't spend much time on the web and yes he knows it bothers me but from the things I've read and learned from experts, it is normal for a man to engage in porn every now and then. Most of the men I've dated have had a certain degree of porn interest. I have thought of giving an ultimatum but most men if not ALL men out there do it occasionally so I feel like I just need to accept the activity and not dwell on it and be as trusting as possible. I just wish he knew how it felt and how he would feel if the tables were turned and I was the one getting sexual pleasure from other men via the internet??

There's a difference between watching porn and sexually interacting with other people over the internet. You need to let him know exactly what about it bothers you. Try to mutually figure out where to draw the line and come to some kind of agreement about it- whether that means no more chatting with people online, no sending pics of himself, whatever. Personally, I think I'd draw it at watching porn is ok, but participating in it is not ok (so no chat, no sexting, etc). I don't think that's an unreasonable request to make. If there's some part of the chat room/ sexting experience that is a fantasy for him, could there be some way for him to fulfill that need inside of your relationship? Maybe you could convince him to try it with you as a role-playing thing.