Troubled relationship

My partner of ten years split up with me five weeks ago. He got back in touch with me two weeks ago saying he thought he had made a mistake. Hes now seeing another girl, but apparantly its not working for him as she's not me. He said he left me because i didnt show him enough affection and love. I didnt meet his sexual needs and i didnt make enough effort. This is probably true, im very shy and quiet and i also felt he never made an effort in how i felt. I was devestaed when he left me, i miss him every day and every night. He's now saying he cant believe i went out with friends when he left me and that ive been wearing clothes for other people to look at me, wheni say i still love him. He wants to try again but wont leave the girl just yet because hes scared of being alone. He wants me to sleep with him to see if we still have the conection we used to have and then if i change he'll leave her and we'll make ago of it. He says this wouldnt have happened if it wasnt for my coldness towards him. He also said she makes him feel wanted and makes an effort of dressing up for him and i did at first but after a few years ididnt. Im so confused, i love him, i want him but im not sure about this. Is he controlling me, everyone said he was controlling. He's also said to regain the trust id have to not see my friends so much. He's so lovely most of the time but he's blaming me for everything and i really did feel i made him feel wanted. I just didnt say it perhaps often enough. Everythings such a mess. I also feel sorry for the other girl too as she has no idea.