Out in the open

Long story . My teacher wife had an affair with a fellow teacher at her school. They were exposed by another teacher. She imadately called me to meet her and told me. We went to counseling but she quit going because she said it was all in the past. They both lost their jobs and went to different schools far apart. A year later I found a pay as you go phone she had been using to call him. She told me bits and pieces about the affair but I she would not come clean about everything I asked. They met in motels, parks and roadsides but said they only had intercourse one time , but they did have mutual oral . I work out of the country and I'm gone more than I'm home. It's been 5 years since I found the phone and she insists it's over but I'm just getting a gut feeling. Help !

i do not think there is any excuse for cheating, if you didn't cheat then why should she? to be honest i don't think its fair on you to have to deal with her behaviour. well i hope she really is not cheating but truth is you will always find it hard to trust her. i would suggest counselling and you both being open with each other. a relationship should be about truth and not about playing detective. if someone cheats then they deserve to go, however some people change (a small percent). i may sound harsh but you must find the strength within you to demand more openness from her. she may not be cheating and you may just be worried for nothing. i think you should talk to her about her you feel and give her the opportunity to show you ways you can trust her. i know you love her. However if she was not caught the first time, i doubt you would have known. as suggested go for counselling and find ways to bond and talk about things. if you still find you can't trust her then you need to decide if you want to be with her or not. I am sorry you went through that and cheating is not fair on anyone, but people make mistakes... if you feel she is still cheating then i think you need to find out and make up your mind to walk away if she is...if she is not.. then stay in love and i wish you the best

So, do you think more intercourse took place, seems strange to me that you go to a motel just for oral sex . I really don't know why it makes a difference but I have this thing about her hiding details of the affair. I know she kept some letters from him for a while but she said they are gone now. I still love her but I just can't seem to get past it.