My life could be in ruins

i have been in a relationship for 18 yrs with the woman i truly love and we have 4 beautiful daughters ages 11 , 4 , and 1 yr old twins my drinking has caused so many problems over this time my wife says she cant go on and has to focus now on life without me i am not violent abusive or unfaithful i just tell lies and drink whenever i can she has given me ultimatums in the past and i have always tried to give up but i think more for her than me this time it has hit me hard as we were 1 minute away from telling our kids we were splitting up but decided we will wait a few days as our eldest was going on a school trip since then i have sought medical help and my wife has agreed to support me but says although she loves me she may never be in love with me again we have decided to take up a hobby together and still spend our time together share the same bed and cuddle loads i have made a promise to my eldest girl and truly beleive i will not drink again and make my families happiness my main aim do you think my wife can be in love with me again or have i gone too far this time

Hello. You must get yourself into meetings asap and STAY sober, it is very demoralizing to be with an alcoholic as you begin to believe you are not worth more, you sound like such a lucky man but if she cannot admire you how can she love you? My father has remained sober for four years now, he has regained my respect and I am getting to know him a t long last (he is 69 now), if I am unable to respect my father how can I love him? Good luck. your children need to have a sober father in order to guide them, my father has influenced me, as I have seen him change, It has given me confidence to make changes myself, including my own problems with drinking. He paved the way for me as the impact of a drinking parent can lead to addiction in their own children. Your wife seems to finding it hard to let go otherwise she would not share a bed with you but she must see evidence of change over a period of time, she may have run out of steam and love can dry up. Tread carefully and begin to enjoy sobriety. Even if she has fallen out of love with you it sounds like she will never fully reject you but you only have one chance now and that is to stay sober or you could loose it altogether.

you are not the only man in this situation many people are trying to do this,but you are brave enough to refuse from this and to get back your family,all this depends from you im sure she can love you again,

hi my partner of 17 years had adrug an alcoholproblem we are still together, and he was g8 at 1st however its been 3 years since he finally admitted it to me has he you to lie and cover it up.he does try and he hasn't drank or took drugs but ifeel there are underlying problems which he does not face because he 's used to running away from problems. i think you both have to work hard after and make promises and boundaries .also you need a supportive family behind you of which i donot have good luck

Its easy whats more important your wife and family or alcohol.

I don't think your wife still loving you, because it's too long and that feeling already destroyed by your alcohalic problem. I say this because my husband also have same problem as you, I tried to against him and made him change many times but he couldn't and that made my patience finised. Presently we still together because of our 1 year daughter but we haven't have sex since baby born, and I don't think I would feel any love to him, I wish every day if he permanently leave me with other girl would be very happines to me.