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Break up

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Hi everyone. I posted a problem a while back here, and everyone was so lovely in responding. Recently, well, more like a few days ago, my boyfriend of almost two years and I decided to break up. It was a mutual agreement, neither of us had done anything wrong- we just felt it was time for us to part. He and I had been in a long distance relationship for all of this year (around 600kms apart, or roughly I think, 340 miles or so)- and it had really began to take its toll. I found that we were drifting apart- both with our life goals and our interest in one another. I ended up telling him that I still loved him but I was no longer in love with him. He said he felt the same. The last few days have been painful, I can't bring myself to think straight. I verge close to tears during work- when I think about him or am reminded of him. Despite our split, I am still very close to him and still adore him greatly. In fact, he means everything to me still. Yet, I know, somewhere deep down- this relationship wouldn't work. We are too different... The thing I'm trying to get to is- I feel so much guilt. The guilt is so incredible. I keep thinking I should have done more for our relationship instead of walking away. I feel like I've let him down. I've let us down. But I kept worrying that we weren't right for eachother...and he did too. I hate the fact that I have been involved in breaking his heart- he agreed that our break up was mutual- but I still feel shocking. I was his first girlfriend and I feel like I've ruined things for him. I'm scared this wasn't what he wanted though. We both did and didn't want this. He and I decided we wanted to be friends still. Some people don't agree with that...but I want to think he'll still be in my life some day. We've stopped talking from today, and one day hope to say hi to eachother at some point in the future but I am still absolutely devastated. I still love him a lot, even though I feel we had to do this. I really don't know how to get over this whole break up. Please help. I'm sorry if I'm vague. Erin

Break up

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Hi again, Khettle! You shouldn’t feel guilty. I think both of you did everything you could for the relationship. That is why you both agreed that it would be best to split up. You guys love each other, but sometimes people grow apart, even in the best relationships. If you guys are meant to be together in the future, a little time won’t hurt you. On the other hand, you both may decide that splitting up was a good decision. Time will help sort things out for the both of you. The attachment to your ex will always be there in some way, and hopefully you guys will be able to talk again in the future. For now, focus on other goals and interests, and try not to feel bad about it.

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