Venting

20 years married and I love my husband so much and I know he loves me but a few months back we argued a lot and almost split up. But we worked on it after that no arguments and everything was good. These past few days we are arguing again and for little stuff but he makes it into something big and right away keeps threatening me that he's gonna leave me. He use to do that a lot before. Now he's doing it again. I don't have the urge to leave him instead because they are stupid little arguments and I wonder so much why he has to keep telling me he will leave me. If he wants to leave me then just leave me. Why does he feel the need to always tell me if I don't change he's gonna leave when I've changed so much for him. I'm not gonna blame it all on him either. But every disagreement we have turns out to him getting mad and telling me he's gonna leave me. Pisses me off.

You say you have changed so much already. How? What change does he want that he hasn't already gotten? The little arguments, what are they about?

Well yesterday was my daughters bday I was making her a slideshow and started looking through her pics when she was 6 yrs old and that was the time she went through a horrific event and brought tears to my eyes when my husband saw me I couldn't express to him right away why I was crying and when I finally started telling him he got mad at me and told me I don't communicate and he told me he was gonna leave me because we are drifting a part I was shocked he made it about him and didn't give me time to tell him why I was crying. I changed no drinking no going dancing no hanging out with single friends I don't even talk to my family a lot because he thinks they will make me be how they are with different men. I changed how I talk act around people I did it for him. I admit I have a bad habit of rolling my eyes when I feel he's wrong and he hates it I don't do it on purpose sometimes I don't feel I do that he tells me to change my ways or we are through. Maybe it's just me who knows

Enter your reply here...it seems your husband has a problem,the way you have expressed your problems,those are petty issues.Is your husband a christian?if no encourage him to go to church sometimes,if you are officially married you can involve marriege councillors.

What was going on when this behavior in your husband started? How were things prior to this new behavior? How long ago did you make these changes and how long did it take you to transition from who you were to who you are? What do you mean no hanginging out with family because of how they are with different men? All I can say at this time is changing everything about yourself wasn't a solution.