A really shy girl

Hi there guys, in the past months, I've been experiencing a really huge (loving) issue with one girl. I'd be very glad if you could post your opinions and advices about this relationship. My story is rather long, because I'd like to tell you every single detail that may depict this story on your screens. I'm 19 years old - I'm kind of shy and introverted - funny thing is, that i don't have any problems with communication, but I'm not some type of party boy - I just think about things (a lot). Therefore I'm not interested in "party girls" - that's probably most of the girls in these years, instead of the unattractive ones. I've been visiting one certain school for 4 years, and so has been the girl this all is about. We're 3 classes in our grade and i pretty much know everyone, even though we're 80 there. But...this one girl from the another class in our grade...I haven't noticed her since school trip which took place in the summer earlier this year. I was curious about who is she. I watched her, and I assumed that she is probably quite shy and introverted - she rarely spoke to anybody and she was really invisible to the most of the people, even though she is pretty beautiful! But that was all I did, because as I told you, I'm not this type of a person, who is kind and warm to everybody he meets. Then there was a summer break...I had no way to contact her, I even didn't know where does she live - there was no time to ask her personally and even though i looked for the easier way - Facebook and ICQ, where I couldn't find her either. Asking her classmates I know could have been a solution, but as I said - I'm just too shy to do those things. But then, after summer break she created her Facebook account. First, I tried to approach her in the school and talk to her few times - but she didn't say much in our conversations, just yes or no. So I had no other way, even though I don't like Facebook and I rarely use it, I had to contact her there. I opened with question regarding school and I continued with the conversation. I wrote to her two or three more times that week and she offered to move to the ICQ. During those conversations, she always responded, but how...her answers were short and even when I suggested some topic she could have asked about, she didn't do it. She also never wrote by herself, but she chatted with me almost everytime till the midnight. I said to myself - allright, she is shy (she even admited this fact by herself - she said, that she had some issues in childhood, because she isn't really communicative person), so let's talk her up - and I kept sending her messages. BUT...Even though we were chatting for pretty long time, she never looked at me at school and neither did she tell me even the slightest hello. This was kind of confusing, because I think when u talk with someone for even one time, next time u say hello, because you know each other....But I said to myself again - she is just shy, let it be (yes, those were signs of interest, but also the signs of shyness - she couldn't even look and me. After two weeks of this, I had birthday. I didn't throw any party, because we have had already celebrated it together with friend's birthday earlier. But, she stayed with me on ICQ, just to be the first to congratulate me. That day she was really great. Everything was going pretty well and there were two big dancing events coming. First time her sis performed, but we met there. I didn't approach her, because she had her family there. But once, our eyes met and we said hello to each other by the long distance. Then, when she was passing me, I looked straight in her eyes. She looked to the floor (as always), but she also moved her hair behind her ear. This was a good signal for me - everything was so clear. So next day, I said that I'm unhappy, because she had her family there, and I asked whether she doesn't want to go to the next event, which took place next week. She said that her sis is going there, so she'll probably go with her. I said allright, I will drive you home and I hope that we'll dance together that night. She said ok, I'm looking forward to. I was so happy she finally proved her interest, so next day, I asked her if she doesn't want to meet after school, that I could accompany her to her home. She didnt answer for 10 minutes and then she said: "No, we're seeing each other on Friday, aren't we?". That kind of disappointed me. Then there was the second dancing event. I got there, waited for one hour and approached her and her sister. I was really nervous, but when i decided to go to them, her sister looked at me and smiled. That gave me courage and there I was. After i said hi, she said hi and she blushed heavily, while looking to the ground. I said to myself - great man, she's yours. Then we went to dance, I gave her hand, she gave me hers. We danced, then got back, then danced again, it was great. But she was appologizing for every mistake, just like she didn't have any self-confidence. I cheered her up constantly about how great she does. I had to lead the conversation, she again didn't respond much. I made her laugh allmost all the time. Then we went outside, we sit alone, but she didn't speak at all. She was just blushing and sitting. But I said allright, she is just shy. We danced through the whole night together. She almost didn't look in my eyes. Once she went to talk to her old friend and then she came back. At the end, I at least tried to get closer and to change the more intimate hold - she refused. I said to myself: "Damn, so there is no first date kiss going on". Really, I couldn't do anything - she didn't continue the conversation, she was just stopping it all. Hence i supposed that the kiss wouldn't be proper in this situation. After that, I drove her and her sis home. Next day, she left me a message, where she thanked me for driving her home. I said allright, and after two days, I asked her out again...she said, that she doesn't have time on Wednesday (the day i offered). So i asked her: "And what about Thursday?". She didn't respond to this and she left ICQ. So I decided to give it more time again... I did like nothing happened and I tried to contact her often, so she could really catch that I'm interested in her. She was like always, listened to me, laughed to my jokes, she even started to write little more, but never did she contact me by herself. The only thing that is bad that we haven't spoken in person since the dancing event. Last week, we had class party (every class separately). Just after I turned the ICQ on next day, she asked me how was it going - yes, the first time she contacted me by herself! I was happy and I assumed, that my strategy is working...BUT..... I started to use facebook a little more since we met, and this weekend, I saw that one guy from our grade - but from the third class (different from ours) send her some flowers or something. I didn't care about that. But this Tuesday, I had to stay at school a little longer. And I saw her sitting in the hall with that very guy. They were just like reading something, but she was really blushy! She was all red! I was pretty disappointed, because such shy girl isn't "supposed" to meet with random guys she doesn't know well after school, is she?! And why is she with him after school, when she rejected my companion. But of course, because of my shyness, I didn't do anything. That made me think...isn't she dating that guy? I know him a little, but to be honest and not to be affected by this situation, this guy is not really a good one - ugly, wearing baggy clothes, not very popular. I may be rather confident there, but I guess everyone would feel it the same way - his "social rank" is way lower than mine. Just imagine some guy you know a little, that many people don't like. I'm the guy the people know, I say hi to many of them. To be honest, I would never depict him as any kind of "danger" while talking about girls, if you know what I mean. But because I am really investigative, I looked at Facebook. Today, the flower she recieved was deleted, and so was the annoucement of them becoming friends - yes, I am really sure - he has it, she has not (I hope you all guys know what annoucement and the things I am talking about). Not a long time ago, he has even became a friend of her sis! And on the top of this, he placed some "likes" to her photos. I've been really crazy about this in the past two days...But there's also an option that they are old friends from the childhood (they both live in the same city, I live 15 kms away). Yesterday and today i luckily saw them both during and after the school, but they didn't meet at all. I would guess that dating people would meet as often as possible. So what does this mean? I know I may be paranoid and that I'm acting kind of like a jerk about this (finding information, watching them, ...), but I've always been like this and I can't help it:( I'm just a bit jealous about such things. But I said allright, they may be friends. That brings us to today, when I wrote this girl a message, but she didn't answer at all, and not long time ago, she went offline without any response. Yes, she may have misslooked or sth, I know, but I don't like the current situation at all...guys, could you please tell me, what would be the best things to do now? I didn't push the things because it appeared that she didn't want to, and now she found a boyfriend? Is that possible?:( I'm really, I mean really desperate, because - even though some may laugh at me - I'm looking for an intelligent (she knows politics, yay!) beautiful (she is, yay - how could guys overlook her - maybe they dont sense her inner qualities) and faithful (yay, she seems that she would love just only one guy in the world) girl and I think that I found her. And I really wouldn't like to screw things up, even though I've probably already done that :( . So guys, I'm asking - is there any way to win this girl? Feel free to express your opinion regarding this topic. Thank you all who'll dare to read this:) Have a nice day.

The thing is, she is playing hot/cold a lot. I understand that she is shy, but it is difficult for you to know where you stand, and she shouldn't act as if she is really interested with you one minute and then practically gives you the cold shoulder the next. Even if you were to succeed in going out with her, how do you know that she would even acknowledge you the next day? I don't know how her family is in terms of rules and what she can/can't do, so I am not sure how much her behavior is influenced by her family life. I think you have done the best you can, given the circumstances. Whether or not she is with another guy I am not sure of. I do know that if you want to continue trying to have some type of relationship with her, you might need to take things really slow. Try to still be friends with her for now, and ask her what she thinks about you or ask where you stand. I mean, she could have been interested in you at one point and then changed her mind. Or she may not be ready for the relationship you want. In order to find out if that other guy is her boyfriend, you could indirectly say something like "I noticed that (insert name) likes you. What do you think?" Of course, you could decide to just wait and see what happens. If she no longer seems interested in you, then she may not be, but you should still try to contact her between school and ICQ in the way you feel most comfortable. If being shy is your nature, that's ok. You are still making the effort to show her the type of person you are. If it eventually works out in your favor, it may take some time before it does. If it doesn't work out, then you can say that you at least tried. TILES (And yes, I did read the whole thing. I don't think the length of what you write is important. If you need to say something or get something off of your chest, you do it in the way that is best for you. This is really for you, anyway. Others may read it and whatnot, but you benefit from it first. Most people feel better after they have written about their problems. Sometimes that takes a few sentences, and other times, it make take a whole book. The important part is that you are able to express how you feel in some way. )

i`v been in a simillar situation as yours, only i came to find out the girl i was in love with was a lesbian! maybe that could be the deal with your shy girl, my edvice is talking to some of her friends, if she dosent have any, try ignoring her if she talks to you just ignore, if she is straight she will fall for you 100% i tried, write me back saing how it went good luck bro!