Very very embarrassed after an unbelievably weird misunderstanding

This is a bizarre one that happened to me a few months back but it is still playing in my mind a lot. I've lost a lot of confidence and feel quite humiliated. I'm quite anxious as a result and have been prescribed anti anxiety medication for the last couple of months from my doctor. (Although the anxiety has decreased recently ) Firstly - to get to the punch line, I was out one night with 2 friends of mine (a flatmate and one of my best friends) and after one of the conversations we had, they took an interpretation from it that many years ago when I was in Thailand that I had a sexual encounter with a ladyboy - or at the very least, a homosexual encounter. To clarify - nothing of the sort happened. I have outlined the conversation below to explain how the misunderstanding came about. But in short, it was a terrible misunderstanding. And that's essentially the crux of my issue. (While it's great for people to be open minded and all that, let's face it, no one would want that information thought of them. And particularly when it's not true. ) I realise it's like something from a jerry springer show - but it's quite serious to me. It's more than just an embarrassing thing that happened on a night out. One of the guys is one of my best friends ever. I really can't communicate with that guy again in the same carefree manner knowing he thinks that. To a degree, that friendship is now completely limited as far as I'm concerned due to utter embarrassment on my part. And that is quite sad for me as he really was one of my best friends ever. The same goes for the other guy. (I live with him also which doesn't help matters so it's difficult for me to forget about it) And I'm also paranoid who else in the social group will

OP HERE - I SEE A LOT OF MY ORIGINAL MESSAGE GOT CUT OFF FOR SOME REASON> I AM PASTING HERE AGAIN.I DO NOT SEE HOW TO EDIT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This is a bizarre one that happened to me a few months back but it is still playing in my mind a lot. I've lost a lot of confidence and feel quite humiliated. I'm quite anxious as a result and have been prescribed anti anxiety medication for the last couple of months from my doctor. (Although the anxiety has decreased recently ) Firstly - to get to the punch line, I was out one night with 2 friends of mine (a flatmate and one of my best friends) and after one of the conversations we had, they took an interpretation from it that many years ago when I was in Thailand that I had a sexual encounter with a ladyboy. To clarify - nothing of the sort happened. I have outlined the conversation below to explain how the misunderstanding came about. But in short, it was a terrible misunderstanding. And that's essentially the crux of my issue. (While it's great for people to be open minded and all that, let's face it, no one would want that information thought of them. And particularly when it's not true. ) I realise it's like something from a jerry springer show - but it's quite serious to me. It's more than just an embarrassing thing that happened on a night out. One of the guys is one of my best friends ever. I really can't communicate with that guy again in the same carefree manner knowing he thinks that. To a degree, that friendship is now completely limited as far as I'm concerned due to utter embarrassment on my part. And that is quite sad for me as he really was one of my best friends ever. The same goes for the other guy. (I live with him also which doesn't help matters so it's difficult for me to forget about it) And I'm also paranoid who else in the social group will "find out". Which naturally has resulted in me losing confidence socially when out amongst my friends. (In saying that, these 2 guys don't know that many others of my social group so it is quite contained relatively speaking. And I'm kind of sure they didn't say it to anyone else- but that's only a guess by me) In short - I feel humiliated, it has seriously impacted how I communicate with my best friend, I am paranoid in my general social group, I now have anxiety which I am taking medication for which in turn impacts my job. And all because of a terrible mis-understanding. Anyway - I've no question as such other than I need to get it off my chest. If I do have any question maybe someone can analyse the communication outlined below for me to get their perspective on it. At this stage I've gone through it a hundred times in my head - and knowing how the communication went at the time it's difficult for me to think they took any other interpretation The night itself A bit of background on the night. We had been drinking for many hours, also had dabbled in a couple of joints - it was about 3.00 am back I my house. There was me, the flatmate and my friend. About me - I'm a completely straight typical guy in every way including mannerisms, appearance etc. Just your very typical regular guy. I've known the best friend for over 5 years including living with him for 2 years. I had been living with the flatmate for 4 months before this incident but did get in very well with him. He was definitely more of a friend than just some random flatmate. Anyway - Somehow or other someone asked the group at one point have you ever felt fake breasts. (It's not like we sit around all night having these conversations - but it just happened to come up) So - for some reason I decided to attempt to regale a story I had whereby me and 2 other friends of mine many years ago were sitting in a bar in Thailand and innocently got chatting to some random ladyboy over a beer where we were all generally just shooting the breeze. As part of the conversation (among other conversation topics), we asked him about his gender operation. This person invited me and my 2 friends to feel a breast to feel the texture of it after the implant - which we did. Basically a complete non-event that occurred in a public bar in Thailand. An entirely innocent non-sexual interaction that was over in 5 seconds. So fast forward to a few months ago - when the question was asked if any of us ever felt fake Breasts I went "yes.... but I think it was a man". Immediately my flatmate went "interesting.... experimenting with your sexuality". (He completely put these words in my mouth which was pretty reckless in my book ) He repeated this statement like a siren in the background a number of times. He may have well meant it as a joke (I simply don't know) - but at this point I absolutely panicked as I began to realise this was not an entirely unreasonable interpretation from his position (albeit incorrectly ) to what I said. (Keep in mind I was kind of stoned at this point) I also realised that if I tried to talk my way out of it that by mentioning ladyboys in Thai bars it probably wouldn't do much to defend my position. So basically - in my panic I sat there and said absolutely nothing - resulting in this statement by my flatmate being unchallenged - and therefore presumably becoming the accepted interpretation to my statement. Essentially - I completely froze in my panic as I was completely unable to properly articulate the innocence of my tale given my condition and the time of the night. (Given my condition at the time, mentioning feeling ladyboys breasts in a Thai bar just felt like I'd be digging a further hole for myself) After an awkward few seconds for me, my best friend asked when this was (in an attempted nonchalant manner - but he was clearly surprised to say the least going by his tone. I think he didn't know what to say but felt obliged to say something and blurted that out) I somehow managed to squeeze out through sheer internal panic the words "Australia......about 15 years ago in a bar in Thailand" The reason I mentioned 2 destinations is because I spent a year in Australia stopping off in Thailand on the way - hence my mentioning of both locations. (Which probably only added to the confusion. In fact it's quite possible they thought I was referencing 2 separate instances ) Throughout all this, the siren of my flatmate going "interesting.... experimenting with your sexuality" was continually going on in the background - remaining completely unchallenged by me due to being physically unable to speak due to panic ( presumably due in no small part due to the intake of substances. I'm sure I would have been very calm in explaining the innocence of it had the same situation arose I normal daytime) If I had to guess it the entire conversation probably lasted 30 seconds. At this point things were obviously just plain weird at which point my friend immediately changed the subject to the furniture (of all things !) in an attempt to ease the weirdness by swiftly changing the conversation topic ( in fairness to the guy he managed to change the topic .. He probably saw I was seriously struggling and in a bit of an awkward corner). I was so relieved with the change of topic I suddenly found my tongue again and completely embraced this new conversation on furniture !! After that the conversation got back to normal for the rest of the night as if nothing happened. But to recap - from their point of view I effectively said 1) I had felt fake breasts, 2) It was a man 3) in a Thai bar 4) my body language must have looked extremely uncomfortable 5) And I also continually left unchallenged the statement that I was experimenting with my sexuality during this encounter. (For me this was probably my biggest error. The other bits are so bizarre and unusual I think they would have had to assume there was an innocent explanation. However allowing this repeated statement go completely unchallenged - while appearing obviously physically more and more uncomfortable looking in my seat - probably shifted their interpretation of my own statements and most likely further confirmed my "guilt" ) Basically - based on the things I said (as well as things I didn't say) It's not at all unreasonable for them to assume I was voluntarily engaged in a homosexual encounter with a ladyboy in Thailand. What a misunderstanding !! And for the record - out of awkwardness for everyone I kind of assumed it would never be mentioned by anyone again. (At least that's how I would've handled it if the roles were reversed) But my flatmate came back drunk one night about a month later and brought it up asking me for more details on the encounter. Asking me did I take it or give it etc. He was saying I need to own something if I say it, and he thought maybe I had said more than I intended to at the time (needless to say he was well out of line regardless of the misunderstanding but he was quite drunk ). I completely froze again as it was the last thing I was expecting - I completely played dumb letting on I didn't understand what he meant - and he changed the subject quite quickly. That entire interaction lasted about 10-15 seconds. (Had I been expecting it I could have used it as an opportunity to clear up the misunderstanding but alas not to be) But the bottom line is, me having a homosexual encounter was absolutely his interpretation of that night. And if that's his interpretation than it's reasonable to assume it's my friends interpretation. The only reason it may not be is as my friend knows me as well as he does for 5 years so MAYBE he may find the whole thing odd in the extreme and may put it down to some odd thing said in the late hours while under the influence of alcohol and a few joints. For me, the main issue is my best friend. I could bring it up I guess. But how can I say to him "Remember that time a few months ago I seemed to suggest I shagged a ladyboy in Thailand? Well that was just a miscommunication on my part. That didn't happen at all ". Like.... what can he say to that ? It's just an awkward conversation for everyone which id presume he'd prefer not to be having. I firmly believe he is of the opinion that he plans to never speak of it again and I'm sure he's more than happy to pretend anything was ever said at all. At least that would certainly be me if the roles were reversed. Anyway - that's my tale. An odd one I know. I'm sure anyone reading this is shaking their head going "How on earth could such a mixup occur". But it did. I've lost perspective on the whole thing at this stage. Is there anything anyone can say to give another persons perspective on the communication - or a strategy for my best way forward ? The whole thing really has gotten me down. As well as causing me very real anxiety, which is probably my main concern right now.

I have been in Thailand and you can find what you call "ladyboys" in bars that truly resemble women - some are outright beautiful : but yes - they are transgendered for some of them that this ladyboy proposed for you to touch "her" breasts - is only fair : he/she is probably proud of what he/she has become and besides many boys and women in Thailand are into prostitution - so he/she was only doing his/her job and to touch some fake breasts on some ladyboy in some bar in Thailand is just part of the game you say it didn't go any further then that : so I don't see where is the problem - if you are straight - then say so - tell your friends once and for all that nothing happened and that you're a straight guy - period it's as simple as that - what is complicating everything is that everybody is evading the issue - thus making it more and more confusing and embarrassing for everyone : just get it out on the table and state things clearly once and for all :)

I think bringing it up now is a non -runner. I can't very well out of the blue go "do you remember a few months ago we had a 30 seconds conversation on a night out ...". I think bringing it up would only dig a bigger hole for myself. I guess my question is, based on how I outlined the interaction sbove, how would you interpret the exchange if you were my friends ?

people who have not been to Thailand and roamed a bit in the many bars all over - do not know what sex-tourism is about : from what I have seen from Thailand (spend about 9 months there - up North - in Bangkok - Pattaya and the South) - you meet the Thai locals out in the country (and even there they have "available sex" for the locals - been there-seen that) but in the cities there is a lot - and I mean a lot of sex-tourism available - in all sizes and shapes - for any taste - the most weird or crazy is ok as long as you have the $ that go with it - it's all "just business" but I have seen the thousands of girls & boys in body-massage lounges and bars - little girls at rich foreigner's places swimming in the pool - beautiful transgenders in Bangkok - little boys with fat European males - loud music everywhere - alcohol available as much as you want - so it's quite understandable to take a look here and there and why not give it a try (I tried body-massage - the real one and the erotic one where you can get more if you pay more - and I am a woman) and yes - you can very well bring up the subject - stating that you feel there has been a misunderstanding - and that you want to make things clear : if they don't get it - well their bad then - you at least made it clear where you stand :)