My mom will tell everyone what a nasty person I truly am ;( Does she still care?

So I've been a mean and nasty person since i was a toddler. I've scratched my mom many times relentlessly and left many scars over stupid things because I was such a spoiled, nasty brute. I've been so mean and she's been so tolerable. But not anymore. Shes been taking videos of me and pictures of her cuts. She said if i scratched her one more time she's going to call the cops. She's telling all my friends. I know. It's all my fault and i deserve it. She told all my closest friends already. Soon I will have no friends, and i'm going into middle school in a month. Is this my punishment? So she actually scratched me first in our most recent fight, but when i was younger I used to scratch her all the time. She's not forgiving me and she acts mean to everyone in the house when i'm around. She says she acts like that because im in the house and i think that's childish (I'm not saying my attitude isn't childish either). I'm trying so hard to make it up for her. I've tried helping out, giving it time to cool off, being as agreeable as ever, sitting her down to talk (she ignores me), making her a picture (she rips it up), giving her a card (she throws it onto the ground). I've tried everything! I think I LIKE the feeling of controlling someone. I don't know why, i get this "powerful" feeling when I order someone around or make them angry, inferior, or sad. This does not apply to my friends, only my older brother and mom. Does my mom still care about me though? She's threatened (and once almost did) to call the police, is ruining my relationships, says she doesn't care if i have no friends and wants to see me alone and sad. But she wouldn't let me cut the contaminated chicken and is making me do homework still and makes me do my instruments (but she made me quit all of them but still makes me practice.) But she doesnt understand that i would do ANYTHING to go back in time and say sorry earlier, to just have listened to her, to back down at least once. At first she was so nice, but i think i've carved her into something else. SO, 1.Does she still care 2.How do i get things back to normal 3. What do i tell my friends 4.how do i control my anger and stop being a stupid, nasty person

Hi! Im sorry bout wat ur going through. My mom is worse ..at least you know n actual that shes doing it..my type of family bully is to just get away with responsibility. And they secretly doing it but im not stupid n im ild enough to look the boundaries who can only access my personal life and my personal things. In my case They just want to avoid responsibility.if ur old enough try to get some space n maybr n d future u can fix ur issues.

Its interesting You ask If your mom still cares ? ! If You were such a nasty person would You really care If she did ? How do You know You were so nasty as a toddler ? You remember that ? Or They Just told You , You were nasty. And If so You must of learnt It somewhere ? I think its very nasty that your Mother would rip up a card from You ! Maybe You want control' over your mom coz You feel like You never had Any In your family. You say your not like this with friends ? ! Thats a good thing ! It tells me your issue is a family issue not a You issue . Maybe You were not understood or treated with love and care when You were young ? So You lash out at them ? ! How old are You ? You cant blâme yourself for all the family problèms ! If You were so bad Why didnt your Mother get You help ? Dont be so hard on yourself Im sure your not that bad ? Maybe You Just had hard things to deal with ? Or feel rejected from Your mom ? Surly you werent born nasty. If You were You wouldnt be on here asking for help. Ever If others do, dont give up on yourself.