Insecurity

Hi there When I was 10, my litte brother had an accident, he was nearly a year old and i played with him and then something pretty bad happened and i put the blame on me, even though everyone told me it was not my fault. Well for me it was very very bad cuz i was only ten and he lost a part of his finger due to the accident. Im 17 now and i do have a problem. I can't take responsibility for anything, I can't make plans, I'm afraid of everything. There was a time when I controlled everything a hundred times just to make sure if the house burns down or something like that it wasnt my fault. however, i'm always pretty insecure, mostly when it comes to sex and i do have a relationship but things never to work out cuz im just way too afraid to do anything. Im so afraid that im gonna do everything so wrong, that he laughs at me and tells his friends about it. and ive had a boyfriend before and ive had sex before and ive never had these kinds of problems before that. now i don't really know what to do, cuz i wanna please him but its getting boring. i would love to be on top for once but i cant get over it. and im kinda lost. i dont know what to do... Can somebody give some advice?