Ex fiancé wants to meet

My ex of 2 years recently asked if I wanted to have dinner. I agreed. This comes after I reached out to him a year or so ago ( he ended things) to see if we could meet. My intentions being to try again. He agreed to talk via text first and ultimately decided not to meet me and ended it with he will always have feelings for me, wished me the best etc. It was at that moment I finally decided to let go and move past this, got myself into counseling and was doing great. Until 4 months ago he sends a random text, just a link to an article about something he clearly knew I'd know about (my fav golfer being disqualified) with a laughing emoji. I ignored it. WTH? You told me you didn't want to see me. Well in May we started talking a bit, just light conversation and not often. He's now asked me to dinner. He said he's excited to see me and catch up. What does that even mean? I still love him. Catching up and parting ways will be hard for me. It would be too hard for me to be friends also. Ugh. Confused.

The guy is keeping you on a string. Cut the ties & block him. He comes & goes while you get hurt & stay hurt. You deserve better & if you reckon he's the one you need in your life, then take your thoughts further, because he wouldn't be making you jump through his bs hoops if he really loved you. It's easy to say & hard for people like yourself to do, but be kind to yourself & piss him off for good. That way you won't have to be friends & you'll find the confusion will be a thing of the past, because you'll be free & enjoying your life without being dragged down to someone else's crap level.

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it!!! You are so right! I know that, and yes it’s hard. He is not a good human to be treating me this way. And I should not be surprised by these actions. I can’t see him, it’s time to end all the BS he has put me through over the years. Currently deciding what words I want to use to tell him I’m out on dinner. I deserve better than this!!!!!!!!

To give this guy any answer is proving to him that he still controls you. Don't give him the satisfaction. If you feel you must answer him because of that's just your way, then be short & sharp.

I blocked him. He doesn’t deserve anything from me, yet here I sit feeling like I need to tell him I’ve changed my mind. Instead, assuming he’s still going to contact me to set up a time to meet, I will not get that text. And he will not get an answer from me. There is no way I should feel bad about not telling him and simply blocking him, right????

WELL DONE, GAL! (And Mannie....pissing-him off to last him a lifetime - love it!) Want to brainstorm over what to say, (NoLonger)StillStuck? It's hwone of my many forte's, dwahling. E.g. 'I've realised my name isn't Alice and I'm not into Cheshire Cats.' Or 'Oops...scratch that arrangement, I've met someone. (You know how it goes...)" Or "I've joined a nunnery. Been toying with the idea for decades so - thanks for the inspiration!' (Evil-for-the-power-of-good, World-Dominating cackle whilst stroking White Cat. ;) If you want to do it with me, it goes: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAH!) PS: eeza Player. This is Old Chestnut behaviour. And, I suspect, narcissistic (due to his time-lag chutzpah). Meaning, you could be the best, most sexy, intelligent, rich, whatever, woman in the world and it wouldn't/couldn't have made any difference. Go google 'Narcissistic Boyfriend', Narcissistic Ex', Narcissistic Hoovering'. He clearly has a little Black Book and has to disappear/cancel on you if what he'd thought was a brush-off came suddenly good (on dating websites?. He might be multiple-timing you all. Fits his movements, huh. Well done again. Don't even now you but I'm proud of you. :) ********************** PS: Mannie - please do me a favour if this posts: My whole area's internet is playing up (seen snails move faster!...very tenuous link). If I go AWOL again, please would be so kind as to post a little 'bear with' to those awaiting my response? I'll OU1. :)

But, NO, you do NOT have to feel bad for blocking an emotional rapist from any more access to you, no. Funny how that works, eh? ;D PPS: 'My new boyfriend isn't half as weird as you. Hmm....' 'I can see your wheelchair from here. Have decided against. I shouldn't need to push.' 'Have decided to let sleeping dogs lie.' '...Sorry, that should have been - let lying dogs sleep'. (Leans closer to the monitor for a choccie-drop.)

You are amazing! This made my day! Thank you! I suspect you are 100% correct on all this. Narcissistic? Oh, most likely I think. My therapist is guessing so by things I’ve told her. Dating sites? ALWAYS! ALWAYS! Always on them. It’s been hard to wrap my head around someone wanting to spend his life with me (so he said) do this crap to me. And find out he probably truly did not mean any of it. How could he when he dumps me so easily and more than once. Never met anytime like this in my life, not someone I had a romantic relationship with anyone. Hit me so hard. But, it’s so time to move on. I wish I could say all the things here to him!!! Emotional rapist - my favorite! Thank you for taking the time. It means more than you know.

PS - some typos in there. I get going and don’t check. Send send send 😂

Bear with me until Monday when I can call my techie guy (doesn't work weekends). I just tried to do a proper, full-length reply but got spat out/timed-out before I'd had a chance to save it, so I can't even paste it back in (aargh, so frustrating!). I now suspect that general-area internet slowness aside, my recent guest using the internet constantly whenever we were in has just about used up my monthly data allowance or something. I'll keep trying here and there in the meantime. (Hoping this posts...)

Ooh, it did! Right - quick! YES PLEASE to venting on here! Most daren't. But it is FANTASTIC therapy, not only for getting his toxins out in a hurry but also for keeping you in-touch with your (normal, healthy-human) psychopathic side, as upgrades you forevermore into a Supernova Empath (bigger and scarier when required, than any Narc). I'll explain properly how on Monday as I want to keep this short and sweet, but, we welcome venting as it also poses as your 'magic Rap Sheet' on him as keeps you strong and protected against any form/intensity of Hoovering (e.g. sending in The Flying Monkeys (google) to persuade you back) and, unlike actual human relationships, keeping hold of your anger for longer is an important key to speeding-up your grieving process. Feel free to do a stream-of-consciousness - you have my formal permission and special dispensation to turn the air Blue if that's what you need to puke out of you. All I ask is that before Submitting, you edit nothing but do insert asterisks (e.g. I type 'ollocks' and 'w***ker' or 'merchant banker'. But don't stress too much. Also, be as 'out there' as you like. We all know to take those things with a pinch of salt. So...total freedom to tell that walking p*nis exactly what you think of him! (Your particular lurkers - those who've been in your same boat (loads!) - will bloody love it!) :) Over to you and hearing your Lioness roar! :))))))) (I'll mark you out of 10 if you like? Haha! Go on - stick it to him!) (Hoping this posts too...)