I think our relationship is breaking down

My foreign partner returns home often on his own country. I don't mind him traveling without me as his family doesn't speak English and lives in the country where there's nothing to do. I found out recently his best friend was getting married and I felt a little saddened because I wasn't invited to the happy occasion, his best friend lived in my local town in the UK for a couple of years, so I knew his best friend and his partner. Last weekend I found out my partner has been out to a nightclub without me knowing, with two other couples his friends that's getting married, his brother and sister in-law. When I first asked him who all went clubbing, he said it was him and his brother, then after a while he told me his sister in-law went too, then I seen live feeds on social media that his friends that were getting married went clubbing too. When I asked him he said yes they went too he drove the four of them there and back. It wouldn't have been a problem with him telling me his plans to go out as we've always been opened in our relationship. I asked him why the big secret, he replied saying he didn't want to make me feel sad as he knew I was at home alone. I told him I couldn't wrap my head around them all in their 40's going clubbing with kids in their 20's? (Maybe that's just me)? I know in my heart he'd never cheat, we've been together for six years. I don't understand why he kept it a secret? We have never kept anything from each other, many times in the UK I've drove him to pubs and collected him again. Neither of us are jealous of controlling which I love. Since he's returned home two weeks ago he's called very seldom approximately one hour of video calls. I told my partner I felt very hurt he lied and tried to keep his night out hush hush. I told him he and I both need space to think about him not having time for our usual normal catch-up chat since he's been away. It's the lies and keeping his clubbing night hush hush. Which I found out through the girls doing a live feed on social media. If they didn't post there videos I would have never have found out the truth. We haven't spoken or messaged. It's the fourth day and I've heard nothing from him. I'm not so sure if his conscience is eating him or maybe he doesn't care or simply he's too busy partying for the wedding this weekend? I feel like every time he returns home we growing further apart. It's sad as we were so good together. But I just don't understand his behaviour. He doesn't seem to understand how it's hurt me. I don't know if I should stay or should I move on after this?

It's not going to be pretty however which way it's set out, but your partner's actions are doing the talking. Yeah, it's all good that your relationship didn't have jealousy or a controlling aspect, but that doesn't help when he's looking in a another direction. It's time to sit him down next time or when you can & get him to help you to understand why his behaviour is hurting you. Whether you get any sense from him is another story as he talks about not wanting you to be sad. hello? Forget about trying to sort it completely, because whatever's happened for the good in your 6 years together, it means bugger all now. Your relationship was open but if he's being secretive now, there'll be a reason for it as sure as night follows day. You're already talking about moving on & it won't be easy if you do, but & going by your post, it's a waste of time trying to be with someone who's actually.. miles away in every sense.

I've honestly tried talking to him about how his behaviour hurts me, I broke down and cried when I was talking to him, he spent most of the time looking at his ceiling. Told me I had nothing to worry about, he doesn't want anyone else just me? But if that was true why lie and keep clubbing hush hush? I don't think he's telling me the complete truth, telling me I've nothing to worry about then why do it in the first place? I honestly don't care if he went clubbing or whatever it's keeping it a secret that is really annoying me. We were always an open book about everything, it's when he returns home to his family and friends is when he changes and usually too busy for me, this time has been the worst of all. If only he'd be open and honest it would make everything much easier.

Readers now please click over to Curly's current, now 'only' thread: https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/13751/i-just-found-out-my-partner-is-in-another-relationship PS Mannie - come on over, too, if you feel you want to add anything(s) else. :)