My landlords son and sex for money

Dear Jenny, I'm Charlotte and I'm 27 years old. I've been privately renting my flat for three years since a bad split with my ex-boyfriend. I seem to always be struggling financially with more money going out than coming in. Having to buy food and pay bills for heating and power usually means that my most important one, the rent suffers the most and at it's worst it became a deficit of more than -£1,000. My landlord was understanding but the whole thing was a drain on me. Now 7 months ago my landlords 22 year old son who became aware of the deficit turned up at the flat and offered to help me out financially in exchange for sex. I told him where to go initially but as my situation got worse he would occasionally turn up to repeat his offer and 4 months ago I gave in to his demand in order to help with money towards the rent. He's now turning up twice a week for sex after he finishes work and I'm home from my job. He's not rough or anything and I've become more relaxed about it recently although he insists on finishing in my mouth which I don't like. He does a transfer into my bank account and I pay this into my rental account before we do the deed. The balance is now coming down and I was feeling more calm about the situation but recently he turned up with one of his mates and pressured me into this with his mate as well. After he was finished he went back to work leaving me with his friend who gave me cash. Now they both turn up together every time and this is been happening for 2 months now. I was planning to end the arrangement once my rental balance was back in the positive which it is now close to but with his friend getting involved I now have money to buy more than just food and have been able to buy a few nice things recently. Knowing that my financial situation is much improved they have also both increased what they are giving me most likely to keep me onside with this arrangement. I like being able to have money for things now but if I end the arrangement I'm scared I'll return to my original financial situation so I'm not sure what to do. Regards Charlotte.

Sorry, I copied and pasted from my submission to an agony aunt,hence the Dear Jenny which I forgot about.

Well Charlotte, it won't be hard to tell you that if you want this arrangement to stay in place, then you'll go along with it no problems. It's what could happen if it progresses further & further until it's all about your safety rather than the rent. You owed this guy's father rent, but you didn't owe his 22 year old son anything. You need to follow what your gut is telling you because if you're having doubts about this situation, then your gut is talking to you..it's for your own good that you listen to it. Of course, if you reckon it's all ok, then why bother posting here?

I agree with our Mannie - especially the safety aspect. I sense tha what you're really asking, Charlotte, is - am I a bad person for doing this. No. Non. Niet. Neither are the zillions of other women in the world who trade 'feminine comfort' with lonely, frustrated men so as to avoid starvation and homelessness. How much are they paying you and how long do the sessions with each of them last? I'm assuming they're nice and friendly to you - more like a couple of FWBs? You realise your sentance should read, as, you 'charging them', not them 'paying you'? Understand the difference? Bet you anything you like, they're getting a bargain, as well as the huge cushy-ness and convenience. Make sure you include regular price increases. See below*** for how to assert those. Trust me - they need you more than you need them. Cheaper, house-share rentals aren't as scarce as 'rentable girlfriends'. I'm going to guess you're in your 20s and a Brit - correct? You wouldn't believe the amount of Uni students who are selling sex these days - including the lads. Whatsherface Atack (Emily?) has a documentary series about it if you want to look it up on YouTube/other? Would these students have chosen to do this if they hadn't been in dire straits with realistically no other options? Undoubtedly not. As long as you see it as a pragmatic, resourceful, survivalist self-help thing, then it shouldn't affect your self-esteem (or might even raise it). But, in terms of safety, ensure you put yourself in-charge. (And if they ask for a threesome - NOOOO.) ALREADY they're pushing the envelope, look! Put a stop to that (again - see below***). Any other "friends" and you get to interview them beforehand, with Willy The Weasel stood just outside in the hall in-case you need him. Your Body's 'Temple' - Your Choice. :) __________________ Quick story... In the latter half of the 80s I had a female freelancer friend who'd just taken out a mortgage on her dream flat (Earl's Court, London) when, BAM!, the recession started, freelance work dropped-off and she was in danger of being repossessed. Heartbroken and anxious as hell, she was (not to mention losing weight fast). Get this!...Unable to sleep one night, she went to a local hotel bar to drown her sorrows and spotted a, what she deemed as, good-looking biz man eyeing her up. She smiled back and he came over and chatted her up. They were getting on really well... Next thing she knows, he's tactfull asking, 'What's your rate?'. Quick-as-a-flash, without even thinking about it (well, not consciously), she blurted - 150 Quid (per hour, obvs). He didn't even bat an eyelid, and it ended up 4 hours (chatting and watching telly together, in his room, included)....and became a weekly event (he wasn't married, she checked). And then she got 2 more clients the same way. Cue the meet-up with me, wanting to know, was she terrible, was she a great big sl*t. I said, No. He is. You're just desperate for money. You'd only be 'the sl*t' if you were giving it away for-free or, indeed, offering to pay *them* (think about it). Kudos to her for how she handled her conscience: she only 'chose' blokes she fancied and would have one-night-stood with anyway, haha! So in effect, she lost nothing and just gained! (Are 'your' two physically pleasant enough?) She was single, too...this was the promiscuous 80s. But she did, once she gained in confidence, upgrade herself to Private Escort. Why don't you look into that? It's the same arrangement, whereby you can sleep with them *if you want* but, if you don't, you don't have to and the agency still pay you (just for being some guy's company, kudos and accompaniament, usually over a lovely meal out/social occasion, on him!) (haha, that would solve the food problem as well!). Anyway, year later, work picked up again so, as she was in-love with her career, she just considered the escorting as something to fall back on if need be (which wasn't ever necessary). ___________________ It's solely about your reasons and intentions, Charlotte. If one has other ways of making money open to them, but are too lazy - or doing it to fund a drug-addiction, say - and so see it as a First, rather than, like yourself, LAST Resort - those are the ones that tend to regret it years later. But if you're doing it to save your own bacon, then - it's your body, you're not hurting anybody - nor yourself if you see yourself as a strong survivor, who does what has to be done (but does it with professionaism), no matter what the sacrifice (potentially) to her ego or whatever - and if you approach it like a business, including being the one to buy the condoms (and are on the pill too), then - FINE....plus it IS your last resort so - where's the problemo? ___________________ PS: HE doesn't get to insist on *anything*; and that goes for his mate as well. The deal was payment for intercourse. END OF. Not least because (1), as I say, STDs are transmissable via semen, and (2) you can find a cheaper abode/houseshare or just sign up with an Escort Agency, but I'm betting those two couldn't get another 'you' (they obviously don't want to use street prostitutes). And (3) since his dad was consistently understandable, I reckon he would UTTERLY HIT THE ROOF if he found out how his son had taken (sorry - correction - TRIED to take :p) serious advantage of you when he realised he 'had you over a barrel'. (4) Technically, payment or not - that's Rape (Coercive Control featuring Manipulation, Pressuring, using an existing Threat against you, ) because he was using the threat that existed over your head as his leverage - PLUS....he nagged aka harrassed. And this means that "you did not give your consent freely". It would only be freely if you'd been ticketyboo when you'd accepted his (nagged) offer (- and that bit comes under Brainwashing...'wearing you down'). PPS: Masseuses prostitute their shoulders, arms and hands - think about it. PPPS: Transfer, schmansfer. That, too, is you handing your rightful power and control over to him. It's cash before removing your clothes. And the mouth thing has to stop, as I say. Check THIS out: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMe1803212 "...chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, the acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, and genital herpes. Recently, reports showing virus detection in the semen of men infected with viruses that had previously been unknown to be sexually transmitted have caught the attention of infectious disease specialists, public health officials, and the media. Two of the more prominent examples are Zika virus (ZIKV) and Ebola virus (EBOV), which have been found in symptomatically infected patients and disease survivors.1,2 Contrary to prevalent belief, the detection of viral genomes in semen tends to be more common among viruses that are typically not sexually transmitted, such as certain adenoviruses, bunyaviruses, flaviviruses, hepadnaviruses, herpesviruses, paramyxoviruses, and retroviruses.3 However, although such detection should not come as a surprise, the contribution of it to virus transmission and consequently to epidemiology, disease burden, and public health needs to be defined." You might want to insist they both get a test. Anyway... the upshot is - you're doing it already, you obviously *have* to and *wouldn't* be 'sleeping around' like that, otherwise - hence, before now, *weren't*...wasn't even your idea! (- see how that works? :D) - so just make it/yourself more professional so that you can mentally and emotionally compartmentalise it as your 'side job' - or rescue job - safetynet job - whatever, and reassure yourself that it's just a temporary measure. In other words - elevate it (and yourself). Attitude is everything. :) And YOU'RE the one with all the power. ALL the power. Including the fact that this thread now records the facts of what happened and how - just in case he's a total weasel who'd try to make out it'd been you propositioning him, lie-lie, if his dad did get wind of it and confront him). All he and his friend have is, money. And so do escort agents. ;) Seriously, I would look into that. And then you could politely dispense with his (er) services sooner rather than later. Plan? PPPPS: Nearly forgot! KEEP A DIARY. Every session recorded in terms of monitoring their consistent behaviour towards you. Or keep it here if you like? (I think that's everything, safety provision-wise? Sorry it's a bit all over the place - I'm short of time at the mo, but ensuring your emotional as well as physical safety & autonomy in a potentially-tricky ('slippery slope') situation such as this was too important.)

(Oops - sorry: *Charlotter*) I also forgot the assertion bit: IF they even argue (which they won't if you act like the fully in-control Lady you are), you just Humm and Hah for a bit, before confessing that, actually, you've decided to go professional with an escort agency (best if you've already done your research, incl. speaking live to them and asking for recommendations), meaning, *if you do*, you won't be needing their money any more, nor to have sex with anyone if you'd rather not, and, furthermore, if they wanted to continue 'associating' with you, it would cost them twice as much, perhaps three times, "so......" (- 'those are the lines, and the ball's in your court, lads!'). We can ALL be weasley and get someone over a barrel, can't we. ;) "It-ain't what-cha dooo, it's...." - well - play this and you'll find out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Z2s51lsOI

Here - what did Jenny reckon?