Two classmates (17M) keep teasing and touching me, and I feel trapped.

Hi, I’m a 17-year-old guy from Spain, currently in my first year of a tech baccalaureate. There are two guys in my class—let’s call them Denis and Ian—who constantly tease me about little things to make me uncomfortable. For example, they laugh if I stutter slightly when I speak or make fun of my dad’s name (“David”) just to get under my skin. It escalates beyond words: Denis pokes my sides to make me jump or let out a weird sound (like an “aaahhh”), and then they laugh about it for hours. One time, I got fed up and pushed Denis, only for Ian to mock me with, “Yoouuuu, I’m getting mad.” It’s frustrating, and they clearly do it on purpose because they know it bothers me. Outside of class, I’m confident and have great friends who tell me these guys are just being annoying, but in class, I freeze and don’t know how to react. They’re always together, so it feels like two against one. No matter what I do—stay serious, ignore them, or even laugh along—they keep laughing, and I feel stuck. Even when I try to play it off with a laugh, it still hurts inside, and thinking about it during class or afterward is starting to wear me down. Strangely, when I run into them one-on-one, they’re nice, and I’m nice back, but together, they’re unbearable. I don’t want to tell a teacher because that feels like admitting defeat. I used to have a friend in class who helped me shrug it off, but he’s gone now, so I feel alone in dealing with this. Does anyone have tips for quick comebacks to shut down their teasing or stop the poking without sounding awkward? Or advice on how to stay calm and not let it get to me so much? I’d love ideas for handling this “two against one” dynamic and the feeling that they’ll laugh no matter what I do. Thanks!

Hola! Yo tambian (well, living here now). "Hi, I’m a 17-year-old guy from Spain, currently in my first year of a tech baccalaureate. (For the viewers at home, that means University Batchelor's Degree.) "There are two guys in my class—let’s call them Denis and Ian—who constantly tease me about little things to make me uncomfortable." No, let's not! Let's called them P*ickface and Kn*bhead. "For example, they laugh if I stutter slightly" B*stards. They don't sound old enough to be there. Still behaving like mean kids in the playground. They're obviously in some way threatened by you, and think you're an easy target. At the end of the day, though, it's undoubtedly because they've been long-term bullied at home or are in whatever ways unhappy and cannot process it so simply pass-the-parcel (to you). " when I speak or make fun of my dad’s name (“David”) just to get under my skin." What's so funny about the name David? What's so funny about a stutter? I know. It's not about what's amusing... It's fake amusement... And they're picking on THAT because THEY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ELSE LESS-THAN-PERFECT ABOUT YOU TO CRITICISE! So it's a perverse compliment (although right now that doesn't help much). "It escalates beyond words: Denis pokes my sides to make me jump" Well, that's being Accosted (a mild form of assault). "or let out a weird sound (like an “aaahhh”), and then they laugh about it for hours. One time, I got fed up and pushed Denis, only for Ian to mock me with, “Yoouuuu, I’m getting mad.” It’s frustrating, and they clearly do it on purpose because they know it bothers me." Whom WOULDN'T it bother! "Outside of class, I’m confident and have great friends who tell me these guys are just being annoying, but in class, I freeze and don’t know how to react. They’re always together, so it feels like two against one. No matter what I do—stay serious, ignore them, or even laugh along—they keep laughing, and I feel stuck. Even when I try to play it off with a laugh, it still hurts inside, and thinking about it during class or afterward is starting to wear me down." Course it is. You're being constantly pecked. "Strangely, when I run into them one-on-one, they’re nice, and I’m nice back, but together, they’re unbearable." They're cowards. All bullies are. Which is why they only pick on those who are weakened at the time, or isolated (including self-isolated). "I don’t want to tell a teacher because that feels like admitting defeat." Stop right there. It pigging isn't, you know. It's winning. BULLIES RELY ON THE VICTIM'S SILENCE. Without it, they cannot get away with it. And nor should they. Maybe next time, say, 'Hmmmmm.....I'm thinking about what to do about you two losers.... my other friends are telling me I should report you... what do you think?...think I should?... or are you going to promise to be more SANE in future. Put simply: they're bullying you because they think you won't tell. Because the first time they did it - you didn't. Nor the second time. They're feeling more and more safe, getting more and more bold. People are there for telling, for this very reason. Use the protection society affords you. It's what all adults do. It's why we have laws against Abuse. "I used to have a friend in class who helped me shrug it off, but he’s gone now, so I feel alone in dealing with this." Not now, you're not. (((((((((((((((((((((((Parental Hug))))))))))))))))))))))) "Does anyone have tips for quick comebacks to shut down their teasing or stop the poking without sounding awkward? Or advice on how to stay calm and not let it get to me so much? I’d love ideas for handling this “two against one” dynamic and the feeling that they’ll laugh no matter what I do. Thanks!" I do have a tack that worked...and it went like this: Me: What IS your problem, the pair of you? DO YOU FANCY ME OR SOMETHING...WHEREBY, YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE?... YOU DO, DON'T YOU!...YOU'RE INTO MEN.... NO WONDER YOU'RE ALWAYS TOGETHER ALL THE TIME.....Oh my god, YES...IT ALL FITS NOW!....Hah! Well, I'm not into that, thanks. (Retorts went something like this: WE ARE NOT!!!!, followed by them posturing whilst they swiftly moved away.) After all, one could be forgiven for coming to that conclusion, could they not? ("Tinggg!" - insert Halo.) Is that a plan, Stan? It's that or report them. Oh, and start keeping a daily log/diary (he said this then I said that, etc.). Do it here if you like?

(Tsk! - 'tambien')

...and I meant 'and it goes like this' and, 'You:', not 'Me:' (It's Typo City tonight.) Sorry...my head's all over the place at the moment (see CreativeNick's thread, latest posts, for explanation if you need it).

Soulmate's response cheered me up some. She is good at breaking down posts and analyzing them. And doing so with lots of savvy and sass. You know what kind of rude asshole I can respect? The man that is being an asshole alone, without the need for some gang of thugs on his side, or some audience to get a reaction from. I'm disappointed to learn this "phenomenon" occurs just as easily in Spain as it does here in America, but it's always bothered me - these dudes who always do everything and go everywhere with their merry little band of pricks. I look down on them. They like to criticize other men who they deem as "lesser" or "inferior", and yet here they are in their little posses, heaven forbid they actually showed some balls without the support of their peers. You don't have to give these guys any respect. It already sounds like you are the stronger person, what with going through life solo and without some hype-man to energize you.

Oy, Balance - Whaddayamean, 'she'? It's 'they' or SM. Nobody here knows my gender (not least because it's immaterial; plus, I don't really believe in gender, I believe the important differences are socialised-in, anyway). Ta. As you were... But glad I cheered you up and pleased to know my sassyness comes across well. :) Re this bit: "You know what kind of rude asshole I can respect? The man that is being an asshole alone, without the need for some gang of thugs on his side, or some audience to get a reaction from." Oh, definitely these two daren't antagonise him single-handedly. Beavis & Butthead (jealous, resentful, mean and nasty version). I think he should cease being nice (and take a book into school if that's what it takes until he naturally makes a new friend). Itscogo, While you're even giving these two bullying idiots 'the time of day' - unbeknownst to you, it'll be making you the vibe-equivalent of A Bit Too Smelly for other people to find you 'attractive' to want to get to know. That and/or, other people DO know what they're like and assume/worry that you hang out with them because you're A*rsehole Number 3. Little known, but very real, side-effects. Which makes you feel lonelier thus, ironically, more likely to think you should hang on to these bozos because they're better than nothing. (Wronggggg). PS: Don't think that whenever they're together, they each of them CEASE being scared of you. Nope.... Just, willing to take the risk. They know a Tiger when they see one. Report them and then immediately after, ....let's put it this way: LET them commence picking on you again - as in, don't stop them from starting - before grabbing the hair on the back of their heads and banging their foreheads, hard, together, before striding off like you're absolutely livid and having to walk away for THEIR safety. Self-Defense. Option B is you just look them up and down and give a truly disgusted face (or eye-roll) before walking off, and cease talking to either of them from that point on (they'll know why - no need to explain if/when they play dumb - e.g. 'Whaaaaat...we were only jooo-kinnnnng!') (like Hell they were). My guess is, you - and their resentment and OTT envy of you, plus, constantly-threatened egos in your presence - are literally all they actually have in-common. But, that, with you out of their crosshairs, they'll have no choice but to 'take it out' on EACH OTHER (which will be fun and highly vindicating to watch). A third option is you start playing too many harmless but highly irritating pranks on them (stink-bombs, whoopie cushions in the classroom, 'n sh*t, swapping the contents of their bags, telling girls (or boys) they don't fancy that they have a crush on them...) and when they protest, go, 'Tsk-awwww, can't you take a jo-o-ooooke - where's your sense of humooouur suddenly disappeared toooo, tsk, *uncool*...?'. One thing I know to the Nth about their type: They can dish it, but they can't take it...usually start booing or curling into the foetal position (like all along, you're the baddie, rather than mere self-defender who met the end of his tether, coincidentally enough, just hours after having BEEN FORCED TO report them (because a person can only take so much) (YOU can take a lot...but they don't know that). But report them to your head teacher first because that'll afford you some protection as in, exoneration, for having been forced to give them a taste of their own medicine. I really do believe empaths have got to cease being so tolerant and DARE to release their inner tiger or rotweiller more...the very scary inner animal that makes these cowards want to chain you to the wall until you shrink to nothing (and cease being any threat to their delusions of grandeur). React earlier....nip all rotten buds as they first appear. Because there's no such thing as, a quiet life. NOT telling on them just makes them worse... 'feeds the monster' (their sick, constantly paranoid, delusional egos). "I look down on them. They like to criticize other men who they deem as "lesser" or "inferior", and yet here they are in their little posses, heaven forbid they actually showed some balls without the support of their peers. You don't have to give these guys any respect. It already sounds like you are the stronger person, what with going through life solo and without some hype-man to energize you." Yup. Exactamundo! Neither of those two could be in his shoes. No way. They'd cease attending the college altogether.

Forgot another option (4): Sigh, roll your eyes, and, like you've just heard your flight's going to be delayed for 17 hours, go, 'Oh, for god's sake, not THIS! again....oh, god, you're so tedious and BORING when you get like this...'. (But don't specify WHICH of them, specifically, you're referring to.)