Saying goodbye after being six years apart - letting go of the past

Hello, I am faced with the following question: I would like to write a letter to a former fellow student. I want to tell her that I liked her. That it was nice to get to know her back then. That I should have approached her more (we were in contact from time to time, she approached me, showed me that she liked me too but we never had a relationship, not even remotely). Unfortunately, I dropped out of university after two semesters. I never said goodbye to her at the time. That's the main reason why I want to write to her. And I would tell her that too. It's just been bothering me on and off for years. There's something incomplete, something unsaid, that I finally want to bring closure to. It's not like I think about it every day. But it's also never completely faded from my memory. I'll also make it very clear to her that I don't expect any response from her (which I hardly can). I just want to say goodbye belatedly. I'll write to her work address (she works at a university—but not the one we went to back then). I don't have her private address or phone number. Writing to her university is the only way I could contact her. She lives a few hundred miles away from where I live. I will add my address to the envelope so she knows this. I’ll also add my number in case she wants to respond anything. Problem: We last saw each other over 6 years ago (back when we went to university). I only recently found out that she now works at the university, which gives me a clue as to how to contact her. I realize it's been a long time. I really don't want to upset her, annoy her, or make her feel uncomfortable. Would you do it? Thanks.

Yes, I would. It's not enough on its own to upset etc. her. For all you know, she wonders constantly about you as well. How are you going to know unless you try? But I'd draft it here so as to increase the chances of getting a positive response. (We have quite a few, persuasive wordsmiths here.) PS: Hi! :)

Hey FreddyG, I think this one is a little tricky, because 6 years have passed and she might feel weird that you didn't try to reach out to her or stay in touch in some way during all of that time. Actually, can I ask why you didn't? Have you just been unable to reach her all of this time, but only can now because you were tipped off to her getting the University job? I sort of half-agree with Soulmate, part of me thinks you should go for it. But only because I assume most people would appreciate you cared enough to write them and share how much you think about them and how much your time together impacted you. But at the same time, I think most women would be put-off by behavior like this, and my own personal experiences in life with people have made me generally pessimistic. Also, fashioning this as "just saying goodbye" seems odd to me. You didn't talk for 6 years, now you're reaching out to them.... Just to say your delayed farewell? That's a lot of time just to wait to ultimately say goodbye. So I will say I do sort of like the idea of sending a hand-written letter to this lady. I think it seems somehow professional and personal, both at the same time, and I like that for some reason. (Actually, do you have good hand-writing?) Typing this up would also be fine, and is probably the route I would choose to go in since my handwriting looks bad. But typing it up would probably take away some of the personal feel of the message. You could always sign it by hand, at the bottom - that might be a nice personal touch. You could do a little "PS:" at the bottom in hand-writing, too. That is how I'd choose to get around it if your writing doesn't look great. Interesting idea, Freddy. You'll have to talk with us a little more about it. And you don't have to share (the letter) with us if you don't want to, but feel free to ask us for input on whatever in the process.

You do NOT have to, actually tell her good bye > do it virtually - in that you ARE goin through the motions IN tellin her (good bye) - to yourself you ARE tellin her (good bye) > you WILL be gettin closure - as one door closes, another door opens The rest IS up to you

I mean this with the greatest respect for your issue. This does not sound like an issue to me. Write the letter, then let it go. Whatever path this takes, it is what it is. But my advice is to write the letter and don’t apologise for being who you are and feeling what you feel. You are who you are. Don’t be sorry about it. This is what makes you, you, and us all different. Write the letter, say what needs to be said. Leave your details. If she contacts you, that’s a great outcome. If she does not contact you, what have you lost? Nothing. You will look back on life one day and say, I am glad I wrote the letter!!!

Write the letter - change the names > use the process of writin the letter to help you Remember you do NOT have to actually give the letter Use the situation to get what you are feelin inside out of your system You will feel better - gettin it out, on paper That IS all you have to do Do one thing at a time The next part of your issue is givin the letter - worry about that when, you have a letter to give Get writin the letter, what you want to say to her ...

Fab responses, "M'Colleagues"! :)