Husband is keeping me a secret frim his kids and family

I met my husband 8 years ago online in a Facebook group. I was in the middle if a divorce and so was he. He was in india and me un the usa. We talked as friends and helped each ither through our divorces. We remained friends and became closer and fell in love and after 3 years I decided to travel to India to meet him and see if this could actually become more. He proposed and we started k1 visa process and I went to India 2 more times in the following year. He came here 4 years ago and we married within the 90 day allotment by the k1visa. In beginning we has already discussed that he would not tell his kids then 7 and 10 about me due to his culture but that he would slowly tell them and after the 2nd year he woukd fully introduce me. His kids are in india and he is here 9 months of the year. He goes back 3 months to be with them. It has now been 4 years and he has not told his kids or family about me. Each time he goes back to India I tell him dont bother coming back until he tells them. He always gives me some excuse how he needs more time and then gives me a new time frame and misses it again. His son has been suffering from stomach issues on and off for the past 3 years and he uses this as the reason he cant tell his son yet because he saud it will make his son overthing and give him stimach issues.I now feel he used mw for his visa and I am heartbroken and sick over it. When I bring it up he just shits it down and gets angry and tonught he tokd me hes tired of me acting distant to him over this and akways starting fights over it... then he said to just divorce him. I cant stop bringing it up and fighting about it because I cant handle the feelings of being a dirty secret and feeling unimportant and used. What do I do.

Well if you can't sit him down & get him to tell you the real reason(s) why he hasn't told his kids, then he's not worth having as a 'husband' is he?. You letting it go on for four years with him spending 3 months of the year away from you just doesn't sing. If he wants a divorce, then call his bluff & give him one. Trust what your gut is telling you & act on it. Be careful though, as he'll be back in your face begging for this & for that...& he still won't have told his kids & God knows who else about you. You already know that a successful marriage or relationship, has no secrets & that two people committed to each other, will always share their lives together. Walk away & sort your life out as you've given him enough ultimatums & enough rope as well.

"then he said to just divorce him." Yeah - obviously he'd welcome that. Agree entirely with Manalone. All you can do is "walk away" to stop the Pain Generator from generating further pain (which will lose kenesis down to nothing over the coming months), then, in your head, go back over the start of the relationship and with aid of hindsight, now spot all the giveaway Red Flags that (during honeymoon) got overlooked or seemed like a mere tiny drop, thus negligible, one-off episode, in a vast ocean of "best behaviour/impressions management". You'll see. PS: "hes tired of me acting distant to him over this and akways starting fights over it" Yeah, cos he likes to do whatever he wants, no matter how downright domestically-criminal, without having to deal with boring consequences. *And you're tired of him and his pathological lying and deceit*. He shoulda thoughta that before he picked on you, shouldn't he. You give him Hell, gal! Or just walk away. Either is fine - as long as you do whichever *properly and thoroughly*. PPS: Kids don't have nervous tummies if they know precisely where they stand. You've probably got a dodgy tummy by now, eh. Or some other new ailment. Have you?