I've never felt like this before. Please help

I don't know what to do. My husband and I have had fights that almost caused us to separate. Sometimes when he has got mad at me he told me he would just leave me. I thought that would be the end of my happiness. I felt horrible just thinking about it. However lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. He did something horrible behind my back and I found out. Now I wonder if there was more. Normal when you find out about someone cheating. Though I have proof that nothing has happened lately I have been feeling different. I don't want to just call it quits though. I want to suggest going to relationship counseling. Yet I think he will get upset cause I haven't expressed any of my thoughts. I feel bad to when I cuddle with him. I still love him and deep down I really don't want to leave him. However I don't want to be a push over either. I haven't talked to him to cause I don't want him to think I'm holding it over his head. If any one has any idea or advice please help me out.

why dont you let him know thst you want to go to counselling on your own. Do that for a bit and then suggest that he join? say something like "counselling has really helped me understand my feelings. why dont you try it and see if it helps you. We can go together" that way he doesnt feel attacked and more like you want to share something good with him.

Yeah I could say that to him. I just don't want to worry him or hurt him. See something I forgot to mention was that we do get along great most of the time. Just these thoughts recently have me confused. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing him away. Thanks for responding btw.

no problem. if he cheated on you, you should not feel bad for asking him to go to therapy. he owes you that much. Dont make excuses for him. Loosing a man that never really was yours to begin with isnt such a catastrophe.