Girlfriends son

I have been with my girlfriend for over two years. I moved in with her first, then we moved. We both have recently finished college, she has a BA in paralegal/law and I with an associates in criminal justice. I have been working the whole time, she has not. I can barely pay the bills and to add to this, her son lives with us. He has worked odd jobs once in a great while, and never contributes. He had cancer 12 years ago and has been in remission ever since. Nothing is wrong with him and he is able to work. All he does all day is either sleep or play video games. I come home after work and he is in his room yelling and laughing at the top of his lungs while playing his games, when I say something to his mother she gets mad, saying they all yell like that because they are wearing headphones. I think she is babying him because of what he went through 12 years ago, but he is now 25 yrs old, and I do not think I should be supporting him, and having to put up with his carrying on, and his doing nothing to contribute. How can I get her to push him to man up, get a job and fend for his self before I throw them both out.

Dude, thats her son, you gotta be really nice about it, even if he IS annoying the hell out of you. E.g. Suggesting you want to save up for a nice, romantic holiday for just the two of you, but are finding it difficult paying the bills since he doesn't contribute. After proposing a nice idea like that (or a cheaper, yet significantly appealing one), you could mention a recruitment agency that may help him get work, or suggest to help him find work, and ask your wife to let his son know if any work comes up. Motivating her son may be the hardest part, but by getting the mum on board, she is the most important person you need to make this a reality. It doesn't have to be all about the benefits for her either, surely getting a job for her son will have benefits for him as well. E.g. More money to spend on video games, gas money to visit friends and a sense of responsibility and confidence - or any other kind of character building qualities. The idea is, you need to communicate and persuade your wife that her son IS better off with a job in the long-run, rather than playing video games ALL day and not really making the most of his potential. Is he good at anything? Mention it! Tie every piece of evidence you can into your argument. Its easier said then done, I know, but you studied law, I'm sure you are perfectly capable of structuring a strong argument!

Just wanted to clarify this: *If he is really good at something, suggest he should develop it at work... or even volunteering could get him to do something he enjoys and start THINKING about what he wants to do for the rest of his life.