Lost & hurt

Devourced from my husband 8yrs then finally decided to trust again, found and man who is 6yrs older than myself -we are early and mid 50's..I've been once married and he 3times his 1st wife he devourced then remarried 10years later and then devourced again 3rd wife past away of a heart attack in his arms.We met on the internet 4months after his wife passing which at the time I didnt know until we met 3months later.We have been together 14month and I have tried so hard to understand all the pain he's been through plus help him with health issues as well, I have been through a lot also but have got help and have friends with very big shoulds to support me....he has also.I love him dearly and I know he cares about me but I feel like we are and will always stand still and not progress with our future.After being together a year he gave me a necklace peace which had sentimental value ( it wasnt something of his wife) I was delighted then he said if you leave me I want it back...then there was the time we moved to start a fresh and found out months later he brought parts of his wife ashes and put them in the garden which I didnt mind its the fact he couldn't tell me,they met and married and were only together 18months before she past away..... so why do I feel so left out and not worthy of being his partner.

I think you feel left out because you are dealing with a man that has had many losses and you struggle to heal him. You may want to feel the kind of love that he has had for his last wife and hoping you get that from him some day. You may long to have someone feel the same way about your passing. Or maybe you feel this way because you cannot heal him entirely right now of his grief. You probably think that him still being attached to his deceased wife is not giving you a fair chance because he hasn't moved on yet. You may want a fresh start at love with someone's 100% effort and are wondering how long you will have to wait for it. You probably fill you can't fill his void and in a way he isn't filling yours either.