Old and feeling clueless

First I was involved with someone though we are both married. Now he says he is getting a divorce but since his wife has found out she has cancer probably not. I wanted us to be friends and just not see each other. I don't think this will work out as he always says things to handle me at the moment but does not carry through. Even the divorce has taken like 8 years during which he says that he is getting divorced as he told me and I say that he said a lot of things and chooses one when one comes true. Now I am thinking of just ending it though he says he loves me but seems to forget that he told me he would email me at certain time and then does not bother to tell me he is having a good time with his friends. In the meantime i am broke. My life is making me feel like I am in a coffin. There is constant tension from money. I feel like I have overstayed my time in my family though my husband says he loves me. He swears we have done a lot for each other and I think I have done a lot for him but I feel like shit most of the time. We have so little money that I stay home most of the time just to avoid using gas. My youngest child is a senior in high school everyone has lives of their own. What to do?

First of all. Break it off with your Boyfriend. If he hasn't left his wife by now he will never! He keeps you around for his own fun. And stop and think about yourself for a moment. Your child is grown up. Think what will make you happy. You have the right to think of yourself. You can't live unhappy. Life is a joy ride. Start over and become the best that you want to be.