How can I fix my relationship with my mother-in-law

My story is so long. But short and sweet. I have a mother-in-law who is very old school. For me and my husband this is our second marriage. I have 2 children out of my first marriage and my husband has 1. Then we have 1 child between us. We love each other so much but we have one big problem between us. Hi mother. She can't except me and my 2 children. She keeps telling he children she is not their grandmother and that my stepson is not their brother. But she make a point that my stepson and the daughter between us knows their brother and sister. It breaks my heart. Then she humiliates me every where. By telling me its my fault if one of the children gets ill or I buy something and doesn't make it myself. It feels like I need to compete with her all the time. Now I must say when ever me and my husband had a fight he ran to her telling his side of the story and making himself look good. So with our last big fight we wanted to get a divorce but instead my husband asked me to move to a other city with him. Far from her. I said yes but befor we go he needs to tell her the truth. He says she did not want to listen to him. She kept saying he can't do anything wrong. She also said I am never ever aloud in her house till I ask her forgiveness for what I have done to my husband. I feel I will never because what happened is between us. I wasn't married to her. But now I haven't seen her for 4 months and my husband saw her twice. I can see he misses her a lot. But he doesn't want to go to her without me. What do I do? Do I just leave it or say sorry for nothing concerning her? What do I do? I have send a letter explaining how I feel. I have tried to phone but she puts the phone down. I have sent sms but nothing. What more?

you cant change people ,leave it. She will get used to this arrangement and even your husband. Things will improve later

you can\\\'t change her. i had the same thing happen. i had to sit in the car while he visited. but i always told our family the where better than she could ever imagine and that her being the way she was would be her loss someday. for she would never get to meet the great people you have turned out to be