Contacting ex soon - help and advice?

my current goal is not to woo her back or anything, but to establish a mutual dialogue so we can actually associate, i don't want us to vanish from each others lives. I would like us to be back together, but i realize she is not in a mindset or situation for it at the moment, but i've done the breakup thing before and i know full well if we completley vanish from each other there simply is no chance in the future. so, with that said, i've followed various help from various forums, ebooks, and this website called zoomonkey (if you dont know what that is its "breakup coaching", and hoenstly its pretty good in my own opinion, sorry if that seems like a plug lol) anyway, the best advice has seemed to come from the coach guy (shes stopped beign so agressive and started playing nice and lightly associating with me specifically thanks to steps hes pointed me into) before i ask myq uestion though, let me say this: i dont need to hear "stop trying and move on" responses, i know this isnt exactly healthy, i know its better to just let go and be happy, but thats simply not what i want, im not an emotional wreck, im living my life, dating, meeting people etc, but i still know what i want and who i want it with. so please avoid those respones if thats all you can think of. so the coach guys current suggestion was to back awayf or a bit because our conversations went great, didn't want to ware out my welcome, but its coming up on the time to re-contact her and im not really sure how to do it. we don't have any legitimate reasons to talk anymore and im nervous with the idea of just popping in to say hi with some stupid reason of contact...do you think thats a bad idea?

Bcandid, just because you've done the breakup thing before doesn't make you an expert. It doesn't mean she won't come back if she vanishes. People vanish for months on end and then reappear in their ex's lives everyday all over the world. It's because they've sorted their issues and cleared their head and they have a NEED to come back to their ex not a WANT. Ive noticed throughout your entire post, it's what you WANT but ask yourself if you really NEED it. So if you're not an emotional wreck and you're dating, meeting people and generally getting on with life, then your actions and this whole exercise is basically trying to control your ex in such a way she will eventually come back to you. And you state, we don't have any "legitimate reason to talk anymore".... if you're nervous about the idea about just popping in to say Hi, then that tells us where your confidence levels are with the whole situation...even after shelling out good bucks for advice. Your behavior is contradicting because you state "I know it isn't exactly healthy" and "but it's simply what I want" and you "don't want to hear stop trying and move on responses". But my advice is, it doesn't matter how hard you try, or how great your WANT is, if she doesn't have a NEED to come back into your life, in any capacity, then she won't.