Guilty lover

Hi, I started working 2 yrs back. That's when i saw this girl, my team mate. Lets call her G. She was beautiful and i liked her. Slowly we became friends, good friends and close friends. Some shuffling among the teams happened and we both ended up being the only members in a team. So we became best frnds. We would spend lot of time in breaks(only we two) chatting. I proposed on one fine day and she declined initially saying family responisbiltes etc..etc.. after two months, she got transfered to another city(where her parents were ther). After that she started missing me and she herself accepted my proposal. Its been a year since she accpeted my proposal. I have a more liking for sex related things, so asked for her to be bit intimate when we meet(just kissing and touching here and there). She did enjoy it, but oly when we were intimate. later she felt verry guilty and moved on after 2 days. This went on for 3 to 4 times. Recently in a large part, in the eveinng when everyone was going out, we hugged and i tried to be a bit intimate(dry humping). A security saw it and started threatining us telling police and booking case. We were very frightened and we bribed him. After that she cried like hell and she started hating her and everyone else. She gets irritated when seeing any pairs or even any hero heroine scenes in TV. she is trying to be normal but she is not able to. She is unable to concentrate on anything and she feels like everyone pointing at her and saying 'she is a bad girl' I am not able to console her at all or ask her to move on. Please help me on clearing her guilty feeling so she can feel better and be normal. Thanks

Why is she feeling so gulity is she I a relationship with another man ? If not I really think your girlfriend needs to see a counsellor she needs to speak about why she is feeling so insecure

See you need to understand your girl is not the public exhibitionist type. She might be comfortable in the private with you. Don't force her where she is not comfortable. As for the security, tell her that its no big deal and the security did that for some quick money. Also tell her that next time you will be more careful and won't build such situations for her. Only time can get her fully over her guilt feeling.

@HEADSAMESS - She is guilty because she thinks that she got spoilt and she has a feeling that she is no more the good girl she was before this relationship. @SHIVANGI - Yeah, I guess time is the oly answer. lets see. Thanks for the advice :)

Keethu, may I ask which country are you from?

From southern part of India

I guessed so. Tell her that in ancient India all this was not taboo. There are a lot of such things in our scriptures too like in Mahabharatha. Even our ancestors indulged in lots of such things and it was no big deal. So what you did is also okay. Modern Indian public is also changing their views. Now a days we have live in relationships, sex before marriage etc. (though more common in cities). Okay that is as far as telling her. But its been a year for you both together. Why don't you both consider marriage? She seems to be that kind of girl and would be more comfortable after some sort of commitment.

@SUSIEDQ,@SHIVANGI Yup, Marraige talks have started. Acually we belong to same gothram. So marraige talk is gonna be a very difficult one to handle. I have somehow convinced my Mom and Dad. We were supposed to tell abt us to her mom a week back. But unfortunaltely i lost my job just b4 tht :( So waiting to get a job b4 telling her mom abt our love. Yes, She is a private person and it was my mistake to do such a thing. I do repent for the mistake and i have asked sorry many times. Good news is she is slowly becoming normal, though she is not out of the guilt. At times, she gets hatred irritation etc.. and goes into a complete mood off. But just for some moments. Have belief that she wil be back to normal completely :) Thanks all for ur help :)

Don't worry, she'll be fine after marriage gets fixed. You telling your parents itself must be a huge help for her to get over her guilt feeling. Wish you both All the Best! :)

Thanks a lot :)