Been in a pickle for years =S

Hey, This is a bit of a long story but I'll try keep it short. When I was alot younger I met two best friends both of whom are lesbians ( As am I ). When I was 18 I started dating one of the friends only to find out she was "in love" with the other friend ( who was very hot might I add =P ) The friend I was going out with dumped me to try sleep with the other friend but It ended up with me sleeping with her instead, I really liked her and she really liked me but for some reason I chickened out and got back with the girl I was with in the start. I still wanted the other friend so bad that I ended up being stupid and making her not friends with us anymore. 3 years later and by chance we end up being friends with the girl again and all those emotions came back for the both of us, the sexual tension was so bad I'm suprised people didn't question us lol, as for me and the girl I chose to be with when we where 18 are relationship wasn't and still isn't great, we argue alot, she developed epilepsy and has had bad anger since & we don't seem to have anything in common. Anyway christmas 2012 me and my partner split up on christmas eve whilst out with the other girl. I went home with the other girl and ended up staying with her for a while and it was amazing the only problem was we where living with her ex who still wanted to be with her, regardless I still slept in the bed with her pretty much every night and I could tell we where both happy and having loads of fun if you know what I mean ;) But it all got fucked up when her ex got suspicious and made clear she would make us both homeless so the girl called it off with me but yet she still was getting with me and we where still having sex so she obviously did not want to call it off. One night we got busted by her ex when we where drunk and I'm not sure what happened but I ended up back at my ex's flat and moved back in with her. I was still getting with the other girl and refused to get back with my ex even when the other girl got back with a different ex than the one we lived with that she had really loved we still continued to be intimate without either of our other potential partners knowing. I'm now back with my ex and living with her but things are not going good. I recently had a fall out with the other girl but as always it didn't last long and still I have such strong feelings. We had a few drinks with some other friends on the weekend while my girlfriend was away on holiday and I swear I kept catching the girl looking at me just as she always has but I'm to scared to talk to her or any of our friends about incase it gets back to my girlfriend. I guess the advice I really need is if it ever comes about that me and this girl would want to be intimate with me again should I take the opportunity this time and not let anything get in the way or should I stay with the girl I'm with now bearing in mind I am her carer and she has no one else to care for her but ultimately all the arguing will hurt us both. Thanks for listening

Hi..... I think you have reached a point in your relationship where you do not have sexual attraction anymore. Desire is outside of it, and will keep calling you out, you will always see what you want to too. You want out...... end this relationship. Enjoy being friends in a group and the desire may not be there anymore, find a place of inner peace.

I think you need some distance to all of this. Give yourself some space from all of them and think about what you want. I feel like all of you are a bit to tangled up with each other and living with exes is probably not a good idea, especially not is your relationship ended badly.

maybe I was a bit unclear I wrote it really quick. I've been in a relationship with one of the girls for 4-5 years now and we have lived with each other for about 3 years but when we first got together she left me to try be with this other girl but it ended up me sleeping with her when we where drunk which kind of sparked something between us which has been hard to shift. my actual partner and I have a bit of a rocky relationship and since I have been her carer things have changed a lot. I do need to take a break from it all but it's hard because I have no one I can stay with and I got so much trouble from my partners family last time we split up. thanks for The advice people :-)