Am I being messed around or do I have a problem?

So my girlfriend is on a 3 week tour in Thailand. We're serious, in fact I know she plans to propose within the next few months despite only having been together for a year. She booked this tour before she met me, over a year ago. As a traveller myself, I thought rather than sit at home I would spend 3 weeks in the Philippines, the plan was to meet in Bangkok and both fly to Australia for the year together. Sadly my travel buddy in the Philippines (a friend from home) decided on day 2 that she wanted to go home. We were both having a shit time and she didn't want to give it time to see if it improved. As I'd been mugged in Manila I'd decided to go to Thailand early as I knew it well (having been 3 times before) and as I hadn't met a single backpacker in the Philippines I reasoned I was more likely to meet people in Thailand. However I was slightly concerned that this may look like I was stalking my girlfriend so knowing she was off to chiang mai in the north I flew into Phuket in the South where I spent 4 days with some other backpackers (who I met within seconds of arriving) they were leaving on the 4th day and so was I to a Muay Thai training camp in rawai. Now let me give you some background, I'm not really a solo traveller, I much prefer to travel with company. I also don't cope very well with missing people and not doing something about it. If I miss someone I'm more than likely to try to over distract myself and do something stupid that ends up with me in trouble. And I mean really stupid, like wandering around South Africa's Cape Town alone at night absolutely drunk. And yes I did end up in big trouble. Knowing this my girlfriend made me promise not to do anything stupid and so far I have kept my promise. This is all timed very nicely with (apologies) the start of my period. So not only do I have issues with being alone but now my emtotions are sky high and I'm about as predictable as a tsunami. Luckily wifi in SE Asia is pretty easy to come by so we have been able to keep in contact. She knows I'm alone. She knows I'm sad but she doesn't really know how bad it is. Because I don't want to ruin her trip by complaining. So everything is pent up too. I've texted friends back home about it and their response has been relax, try to enjoy yourself for the rest of the time. Easy advice to give and yes I'm sure they're right but applying it is near impossible. We exchange the obligatory 'I miss you wish you were here' texts. The thing is, I mean that literally and I'm sure she's just saying it as in aw would be nice if you were here but that's the way it is. Whereas I mean I need you here I'll do anything to make that possible. Here is where I start to sound like a stalker. One of our whatsapp conversations had got kinda emotional. She was saying she didn't know whether to ditch her tour and come be with me instead because she misses me too much. Now just to be clear the last thing I want is for her to ditch her tour and I told her this. But I also suggested I could stay nearby in the same towns eg if she was guna be in krabi I'd stay there too so while she was on trips in the day I could be chilling at the beach and we could have evenings if not nights together. Her reply was yes I wanna see you all the time. So I went off to the beach fairly happy and excited. (We're still opposite ends of the country at this point) later on however when I return from the beach she has completely changed her tune. Now it's 'think good things, it's only 2 weeks, it will be worth it.' My issue is, she keeps changing what she's saying, one minute she wants me there one minute she doesn't. It feels like she's messing me around but am I just reading too much into her messages? If I knew I wasn't guna see her then I could resign myself to it as it were and try to immerse myself in something eg maybe do some volunteer work. However if she wanted me there I'd be there in a second so I'm in a constant state of am I staying here or am I going to meet her. It may be worth mentioning that I am meeting her in 1 week with 1 more week to go after that. We're meeting at the full moon party. But at 5am her and her your group disappear off somewhere else and leave me. I'm regretting agreeing to meet because I think it will be beyond hard to have her for a couple of hours (not even alone time but at a party on the beach) and then watch her leave with her new friends knowing I won't see her for another week. I'm driving myself crazy. Is she even missing me? Why doesn't she want to see me do I care more than she does or have I literally turned into a psycho stalker? Help!