How do you forgive?

hi, ive been betrayed by my husband and lied to from the begining ,he was seeing his ex behind my back i found out ,this was a year ago and im still bringing it up at least once a week, he has told so many lies that i dont know when hes telling the truth anymore, i dont know if i love him anymore when i look at him i hate him ,i feel nothing ,we are like strangers,but im still with him ,i dont know if its for security although hes not working,or i dont want another divorce on my hands,and telling my kids and family would be hard,but can i live forever like this in a loveless marriage, i put on an act when we go out in front of his friends showing that we are happy but im not,sometimes i feel ok then days i just flip raking it all up again ,he wants me to move on and start again ,its easy for him to say that because i havent done anything to him ,i know i pushing him away but all i have in my head is them together ,what do u advise . thanks